Reply to: I've a monthly stakeholder meeting at 4PM.

[bobspud]

Our plan is more than a plan; it’s a turnkey solution for leveraging the power of data mining to empower our customer service representatives and bring new élan to our market expansion drive.

Oi !!! someone from my last gig actually used that in a pep talk I coughed "bollocks" and faked an urgent call

[BrowneIssue]

On 28/11/2007 I saved the following on my desktop ready for re-use. I copied it from an email from ClientCo. Evidently, its time has come:

"It's about time you people started eating some reality sandwiches and get your ducks in a row. Perhaps we can then think about parking our cars in the same garage. And remember, we don't want to wind ourselves round the axle on this."

[tim123]

So did you get a "full house"

tim

[swamp]

and remind them all that there is no "I in team".

but there's a "u" in *****

[Mustang]

But there is
ME
EAT
MEAT

You forgot TEA.......!!

[Platypus]

I've heard that "brain wave" is no longer politically correct as it discriminates against epileptics. The new term is "ideas shower".

Thought Shower

[FSM with Cheddar]

My advice is
there is no "I in team".

But there is
ME
EAT
MEAT

[FSM with Cheddar]

I've heard that "brain wave" is no longer politically correct as it discriminates against epileptics. The new term is "ideas shower".

I'm offended as I don't have any ideas or shower.

[Liability]

My advice is

"touch base" with all of them
make sure you all have "joined up thinking"
make sure you highlight the "quick wins"
make sure you highlight "excellent progress"
and remind them all that there is no "I in team".

[BrianSnail]

I've heard that "brain wave" is no longer politically correct as it discriminates against epileptics. The new term is "ideas shower".

[NotAllThere]

Why has no one mentioneed KPIs yet

Because that's sooooo 1980s.

[Sysman]

I've a monthly stakeholder meeting at 4PM.

At first glance I thought this thread was about a witch hunt for vampires.

[swamp]

Hey I've just made over 1000 posts. Never noticed!

[swamp]

Ask where the Information Radiator is. Do it.

[Pondlife]

We’re all too busy analysing this month’s performance dashboard. I was particularly impressed by the high scores for ‘corporate social responsibility’, which were obviously awarded for the thousands of skilled people ClientCo has now made available to the workforce and the way they’ve provided the social security office with a whole new class of customer.

You jest but current client has a 'goal' of zero deaths on site.

Every year they're getting closer.