Threaded does his bit for Anglo-Danish relations

[WageSlave]

Mrs Gunman is a crack shot too and has a nice arsenal of sniper weapons with night sites and dot scopes so beware!

Don't I know it. Minding my own business this morning, quitely having a dump in the flower bed, when Mrs Gunman appears at a window and shoots me up the backside! Next she was shouting something about stealing bacon rinds and playing bongos at 3am. Well that's hardly the way to make a chap feel welcome, is it?
Anyway, just to show that I am grateful, I have decided to build a giant straw tulipsu at the bottom of the garden.

[The Lone Gunman]

My Hydrangea bush died.

Maybe I was singing the wrong songs to it?

Lizard tulip is not good for any earth plants! Kinda like bitch (as in female dog) piss.

[The Lone Gunman]

Slave, mate, sometimes you scare me.

Potting shed, hydranga and a wife who throws broken biscuits out (BTW they are for the birds not you).

Glad I live abroad!
Mrs Gunman is a crack shot too and has a nice arsenal of sniper weapons with night sites and dot scopes so beware!

[OwlHoot]

So my question to the congregation is: should I ask for a reduction in the price because of the loonie neighbours or do you think that would actually add value by having genuine banjo playing country inbreeds living next door to my country idyll?

In Danish law are property sellers obliged to disclose formal disputes (i.e. which have come to law)? I think in the UK these days one is, but I'd ask your Danish conveyancer.

If not I shouldn't worry - at least these rednecks are likely to keep themselves to themselves, unless they've got it into their head that they're somehow entitled to trespass on the property you plan to purchase.

[WageSlave]

Which songs will you be singing? Campdown Races by any chance?

No, I sang Tiny Tim's 'Tip Toe Through the Tulips'. Mrs Gunman seemed very appreciative and left some broken digestive biscuits by the bush for my supper.

[xoggoth]

No you aren't zeitghost. And she keeps inviting us to make it a small one. I could do that.

[WageSlave]

That's nothing. I have decided to live in the Lone Gunman's potting shed. While LG's away I like to smear poo over his windows.

Tonight I will be lurking in his Hydrangea bush disguised as a Black and White Minstrel.

HTH

[cojak]

Or you could creep into their homes one night and push them into ovens...

[xoggoth]

It is quite clear that these strange people must have escaped from a Hans Christian Anderson tale. Don't worry it is bound to all end happily ever after.

[threaded]

Went to look at a prospective house purchase in Dianalund and met my first two obnoxious Danish people. I've lived in Denmark for a good few years and always knew there were some deep dark secrets such as where do they hide the ugly women, and where do the nutters live, for example. I've traveled all over Denmark, and must admit I've never actually tried to search them out.

Today I found not one, but two obnoxious Danish people and what is more, they are close neighbours and one appears to live in an adjoining property to the one I went to view.

I drove out in one of my Italian tractors and the house is in a wildlife conservation area so not so much on a country road as at the end of a dirt track. Anyways my navigator failed me by not taking me to the front door an additional reason to drive slowly was because of the pot holes. Eventually reach a fork in the road so I had to stop and ask directions.

I sees a guy out in his garden. Pulls up. Gets out and shows him the picture of the house. "Do you know where this house is?" I enquire.

"This is not a race track." was the reply.

"Wibble?" says I

"This is not a race track."

The chaps wife comes out.

I show her the picture, "Do you know where this house is?" I enquire.

She looks up the road and is starting to tell me when the man starts shouting at her. Another first for Denmark. I have not seen public domestic violence out here. Thought that was another peculiar English custom I would never have to witness again. Anyway the ladies eye movements where good enough directions for me and off I went.

A few hundred meters further there was another fork in the road. Same scenario, except this time it was an older lady who started ranting about horses and children. Whether she liked them or disliked them I could not quite fathom. Decided that discretion was the better part of valour and took an educated guess as to which road to take.

Now the garden for the house is 17213 sq m and heavily wooded so the chances of seeing the neighbour over the garden fence, so to speak, are vanishingly small.

So my question to the congregation is: should I ask for a reduction in the price because of the loonie neighbours or do you think that would actually add value by having genuine banjo playing country inbreeds living next door to my country idyll?