Reply to: Another life ruined

[NotAllThere]

...psychological mark on a child is not acceptable under any circumstance.

I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

[Diver]

Children are not all the same.
The behaviour is different from child to child.
Some respond well to verbal chastisement and the reward system, some don't.

My Granddaughters for instance. One is 7 Years old now, and has always been very well behaved, in fact a little lady.

The 3 year old is however a nightmare. she has a wicked sense of humour, and will laugh while doing something she's been told not to do. She has no fear of falling, burning or even a dog that is snarling at her.
Reward and denial punishment does not work with her. She has had a couple of light smacks (taps) to help curb her worst (most dangerous) antics. It is not pain inflicted (there isn't any) that works, it is the psychological effect of the light smack; coupled with the angry face and voice that seems to make her realise that she has gone too far (usually lasts for a couple of hours before she is back to her old antics again).
She is a very intelligent and loveable child and loves a hug, she does place herself in danger though, and this is behaviour that needs to be curbed by any sensible means possible.

Punishment that leaves a physical or adverse psychological mark on a child is not acceptable under any circumstance.

[NotAllThere]

I can't see how anyone could say they love their kids, if they never tell them off, never correct bad behaviour. We've all seen the results of such parenting, or rather absence thereof. Does it lead to happy, well adjusted kids? So if you do "parent" along those lines, are you doing your best for your child? You may have soft, warm fuzzy emotions over your offspring, but you are not showing them love, you are behaving as though you hate them. You care more about your own feelings of guilt, if you were to punish them, than you do about them.

Discipline, only means physical chastisement if you're a yank. I think I made it quite clear that I believe it is perfectly possible to discipline your kids without smacking them.

My opinion, and that of UK law, is that there is nothing wrong with smacking. It is merely another option available to parents. I don't think you're morally or intellectually deficient or superior if you chose not to use it. Although not the CUK way, if you think there is then justify it, rather than ad hominem attacks, you morons.

I sense a 'parenting argument' about to happen.

/gets popcorn
/sits back

Fun isn't it.

[BrilloPad]

I can feel another hospital trip coming on

He is still getting treatment for the last lot! Maybe his local hospital should have a Diver ward...

[DiscoStu]

Then can we use the Barbed wire up the rectum option? please?

I can feel another hospital trip coming on

[Moose423956]

Then can we use the Barbed wire up the rectum option? please?

You can put whatever you like up your own rectum, just don't expect any sympathy when it turns septic.

[Diver]

Actually, you're right. I should qualify my previous statement to say that it only follows on into later generations if the parents and children aren't intelligent enough to realise it's wrong.

Then can we use the Barbed wire up the rectum option? please?

[Ruprect]

If you don't discipline your children (in whatever way), then pure and simple you don't love them.

Now who's talking testicles? I'm not saying you shouldn't discipline your children - you should - but your statement above is a bit sweeping, and also quite a leap!

I had a friend at school who threw a stone at a car windscreen. Car veered off road, struck a cyclist, who was hospitalised. His dad hit him, the only time he ever did, and quite right too. I was never hit as a child, but can understand (as a parent) why his dad did in this circumstance, and would probably do the same myself.

[Moose423956]

My mother used to lay into me in a manner that would make Ester Rantzens eyes pop-out. It hasn't made me think it's alright to do the same to my child.

Actually, you're right. I should qualify my previous statement to say that it only follows on into later generations if the parents and children aren't intelligent enough to realise it's wrong.

[wonderwaif]

I NEVER spanked my children, and they also can be reasoned with, and also have the habit of obedience and respect. So your kids suffered pain to get to exactly the same stage as my kids, who didn't suffer. I know who I'd rather be brought up by.

To my mind, smacking kids is an easy and lazy option, and shows weakness on the part of the parent. Also, it gives them the message that it's alright for them to smack their kids in the future.

My mother used to lay into me in a manner that would make Ester Rantzens eyes pop-out. It hasn't made me think it's alright to do the same to my child.
I don't know where the happy medium lies, but I do know that molly-coddling the little darlings is not doing them, or us, any favours.

[Xenophon]

I sense a 'parenting argument' about to happen.

/gets popcorn
/sits back

[Moose423956]

I spanked my kids quite often up to the age of 6-8. Usually for something to do with attitude - i.e. cheek, or wilful disobedience. Now they're older it's not necessary - they can be reasoned with, and already have the habit of obedience and respect.

I NEVER spanked my children, and they also can be reasoned with, and also have the habit of obedience and respect. So your kids suffered pain to get to exactly the same stage as my kids, who didn't suffer. I know who I'd rather be brought up by.

To my mind, smacking kids is an easy and lazy option, and shows weakness on the part of the parent. Also, it gives them the message that it's alright for them to smack their kids in the future.

[Xenophon]

if Ive told you once Ive told you a dozen times. Four inches of barbed wire up the rectum. its the only way

Very creative, EO.

[EternalOptimist]

if Ive told you once Ive told you a dozen times. Four inches of barbed wire up the rectum. its the only way

[NotAllThere]

He should have spanked (with hand) making sure left no bruises. Or is that illegal now too?

What he did may well have been found to be not illegal, if it had it had come to court.

Parents can sometimes be pushed to the limit by teenagers who are looking to see how far they can go but smacking won't solve the problem.

It simply tells your child that violence is acceptable and gives the message that its all right for them to hit other people.

Testicles.

I spanked my kids quite often up to the age of 6-8. Usually for something to do with attitude - i.e. cheek, or wilful disobedience. Now they're older it's not necessary - they can be reasoned with, and already have the habit of obedience and respect.

If you don't discipline your children (in whatever way), then pure and simple you don't love them.