Reply to: Update on b)

[DBA_bloke]

Tax, VAT, Inflation???

Quite. Best to invest it in a decent High/Medium/Low risk portfolio, or maybe take a gamble on house prices climbing in the medium term.

[Money Money Money]

... er, 2 pence.

Tax, VAT, Inflation???

[DBA_bloke]

Here's my 2 pence for what its worth.

... er, 2 pence.

[cojak]

Here's my 2 pence for what its worth.

Why not go away for the weekend, just you 2 without the kids. Have a nice meal together and a good chat?

Start by telling her you have been thinking a lot about what she said and need to know if she meant it. Then just be honest with her. She may have said it to provoke a reaction from you, she may have said it because she wants to know your feelings. On the other side of the coin you may have fallen out of love with her because of what she had said.

Communication is the key here I think.

You'll feel so much better when you have spoken to her. I would also forget about b) and not mention it!

Good luck.

Yep - good one.

That's the next step.

[TheFaQQer]

You either really make a go of it at home (kids can tell the difference, you know) or you make the brake.

Anything is better than a half-life...

Be brave, you've done it once, you can do it again.

xx.

break

[WindyAnna]

You've GOT to sort it one way or the other. It's not fair on yourself, your wife or your kids.

If what you are saying is that if b) has reciprocated you would have left a) and yet because b) didn't reciprocate you are going to stay put then I think that you are being a coward (although I didn't before!!).

You can't wait for a nice escape route to appear before you sort your life out!!! you will feel better for it in the long run.

[Money Money Money]

Correct.

Here's my 2 pence for what its worth.

Why not go away for the weekend, just you 2 without the kids. Have a nice meal together and a good chat?

Start by telling her you have been thinking a lot about what she said and need to know if she meant it. Then just be honest with her. She may have said it to provoke a reaction from you, she may have said it because she wants to know your feelings. On the other side of the coin you may have fallen out of love with her because of what she had said.

Communication is the key here I think.

You'll feel so much better when you have spoken to her. I would also forget about b) and not mention it!

Good luck.

[cojak]

You either really make a go of it at home (kids can tell the difference, you know) or you make the brake.

Anything is better than a half-life...

Be brave, you've done it once, you can do it again.

xx.

[Moose423956]

IIRC, Moose said that he'd tried that, got all the blame, and would never go again.

Something like that.

Correct.

[TheFaQQer]

Have you thought of Relate or the like?

IIRC, Moose said that he'd tried that, got all the blame, and would never go again.

Something like that.

[TheFaQQer]

It took me 6 years to pluck up courage to tell someone that I love her. How long do you think it will take to tell someone that I don't love her?

PM me her email address - I'll do it for you.

Or her MSN details.

[TheFaQQer]

Right. Update time. For those who are interested.

b) told me I need to move on, and was worried I was getting mixed messages from her.



So that's that I guess. Next.

Oh dear.

At least you took a chance and know where you stand with (b) - which means that you can mow move on to something. I guess the big question is what does "Next" mean.

Does the response from (b) in any way alter your feelings for (a)? However you're feeling now, it sounds to me like you need to focus on sorting your marriage out one way or the other. From your last topic on this, you said that your wife had said that she no longer loved you - now it's time to find out how serious she was, and how serious you are about not being in love with her. If neither of you wants to be together, then it's time to make a clean break of it.

You never know - once you've sorted out (a), (b) may view you as a more viable prospect. She could well be thinking that she doesn't want to break up your marriage, particularly when there are children involved. If there is no marriage to break up, then she may feel completely differently. I wouldn't bank on this outcome, but for the sake of your own sanity and feelings, and those particularly of your children, you need to sort out home really.

Best of luck with whatever happens.

[chasingtheaurora]

It took me 6 years to pluck up courage to tell someone that I love her. How long do you think it will take to tell someone that I don't love her?

Have you thought of Relate or the like?

[chef]

and you don't think it's fixable? even now you've got no distractions or "what if's" on your mind?

[Moose423956]

Hey Moose, I feel for you.

But ... are you going to sort out a) nonetheless???

Windy

It took me 6 years to pluck up courage to tell someone that I love her. How long do you think it will take to tell someone that I don't love her?