Can I still get wood?

[Mordac]

Does it count that I once had complaints about fireworks, on fireworks night, being "a bit loud"?

Only if the police were called...

[ladymuck]

A smokeless BBQ? I know you're a girl, but there are rules about BBQs and you are supposed to observe them. One of the most important rules is that there should be so much smoke that one of your neighbours calls the fire brigade. You get bonus points for burning down your shed*. Double points for burning down someone else's shed.

*A nod to my wife's former work colleague who actually did that.

Does it count that I once had complaints about fireworks, on fireworks night, being "a bit loud"?

[BigRed]

As you get older wood is increasingly more difficult to obtain, but can be sourced from more unusual outlets who cater for anything

[Mordac]

I actually have a small smokeless one:

LotusGrill UK

Works really well for what I need. It's absolutely no replacement for a proper one but for 1 or 2 people in a small space, it's great.

A smokeless BBQ? I know you're a girl, but there are rules about BBQs and you are supposed to observe them. One of the most important rules is that there should be so much smoke that one of your neighbours calls the fire brigade. You get bonus points for burning down your shed*. Double points for burning down someone else's shed.

*A nod to my wife's former work colleague who actually did that.

[Uncle Albert]

Bloody EU regulations trying to ban our fireplaces.

Oops, we can't blame them any more.

[ladymuck]

You live in London, so your BBQ will be next. You'll be allowed to own an electric one, but you won't be allowed to cook any meat on it. Just so you know...

I actually have a small smokeless one:

LotusGrill UK

Works really well for what I need. It's absolutely no replacement for a proper one but for 1 or 2 people in a small space, it's great.

[Paddy]

The ban on carbon-neutral fuel was no doubt as lobbied by the energy companies.

[Mordac]

As long as the great British BBQ is not affected, I'm not particularly fussed.

You live in London, so your BBQ will be next. You'll be allowed to own an electric one, but you won't be allowed to cook any meat on it. Just so you know...

[jamesbrown]

Only with a prenup in place.

[ladymuck]

As long as the great British BBQ is not affected, I'm not particularly fussed.

[WTFH]

Time to sharpen the chainsaw and see if any of the trees round here "came down in the recent storms".

[BrilloPad]

Wood burners: Most polluting fuels to be banned in the home - BBC News