Reply to: HMRC tulipstorm

[ladymuck]

Boy and girl walking through park after dark. She says "I need a pee" and goes behind bush. He decides to sneak up and cop a feel. He grabs something hard between her legs. He asks "Have you changed your gender?". She says "No. I have changed my mind. I am having a poo.".

There's a life lesson or two in there...

[LondonManc]

I've always wondered (having seen it at another client site) how it works this writing on the wall in poo thing....

Do you "do the business", pick it up out of the bowl, dry it with a bit of bog roll, then use it like a pencil?
Or do you grab it "in transit" sort of thing?

Same with if you post someone a turd. Do you try and plop it straight into the jiffy bag or do the "removal" method? If its going straight into a bag, do you get a friend to hold the bag? Not sure I've got friends who I consider good enough to not tulip on my hand....

Finally, why on earth would you want to grab hold of your own turd?

Sheesh. The things one has to do because greenlake has flounced.....

I take it you've never been to Salford, then...

There is a reason why "Dirty Old Town" was written in and about Salford.

The gasworks sung about in the song were still there, until last February, near the big roundabout at the end of the M602:

"I met my love by the gasworks wall/Dreamed a dream by the old canal." What a romantic that Ewan McColl was eh?

Not far from there are two very famous streets:
Coronation Street, which had Salford Lads Club on the corner, famous from the cover of The Smiths album



Archie Street, which, although it no longer exists, was the original street that Coronation Street the soap was based on. St Clements Church in the background still exists; the photo below is from shortly before the street's demolition in 1971.

[DoctorStrangelove]

In the oldest? street in my town, there was a cottage with a date of 1666. It was knocked down to make way for a Tesco store. The store lasted about 30 years and now has been knocked down itself. The council can't seem to make up its mind what to put there now. Corporate vandalism!

Yes it was impressive.

That Tesco store was built in 1974(ish) and knocked down in 2017 IIRC.

The Magistrates Court was built at the same time on the site of my Great Grandfather's house, for which my Great Aunt received the princely sum of £1200 when it was compulsory purchased in 1973.

The Magistrates Court was knocked down at the same time as Tesco.

Naturally enough the corrupt barstewards (the heirs of that corrupt bastard Lord Engine Driver*) in Port Talbot now have the Magistrates Court.

*the scumbag who controlled the education committee in Glamorgan.

Do you have a brown envelope stuffed with pound notes for me, my boy?

[psychocandy]

Because it's better than grabbing hold of someone else's?

I guess some people might like this....

[psychocandy]

I've been to Old Trafford and stayed in the old town hall. Is that close enough? It doesn't compare in the slightest with Dowlais in the 1960's.

I've also been to Cheadle and Denton as well as Bolton and Horwich, all quite pleasant really when compared with Merthyr.

In the oldest? street in my town, there was a cottage with a date of 1666. It was knocked down to make way for a Tesco store. The store lasted about 30 years and now has been knocked down itself. The council can't seem to make up its mind what to put there now. Corporate vandalism!

JTB - You're from Merthyr?

You may have noticed the stick I sometimes get on here for claiming JSA ONCE! I'm sure they don't believe me that, I'm small fry compared to half the valleys claiming it!

[psychocandy]

I have never wondered that. No doubt I wont be able to sleep until I google it. Anyone got any mind bleach?

Now Brillo imagine grabbing the log whilst its "in transit". Thats weird.

[BrilloPad]

Because it's better than grabbing hold of someone else's?

Boy and girl walking through park after dark. She says "I need a pee" and goes behind bush. He decides to sneak up and cop a feel. He grabs something hard between her legs. He asks "Have you changed your gender?". She says "No. I have changed my mind. I am having a poo.".

[ladymuck]

....

Finally, why on earth would you want to grab hold of your own turd?

Because it's better than grabbing hold of someone else's?

[JohntheBike]

I take it you've never been to Salford, then...

There is a reason why "Dirty Old Town" was written in and about Salford.

I take it you've never been to Salford

I've been to Old Trafford and stayed in the old town hall. Is that close enough? It doesn't compare in the slightest with Dowlais in the 1960's.

I've also been to Cheadle and Denton as well as Bolton and Horwich, all quite pleasant really when compared with Merthyr.

In the oldest? street in my town, there was a cottage with a date of 1666. It was knocked down to make way for a Tesco store. The store lasted about 30 years and now has been knocked down itself. The council can't seem to make up its mind what to put there now. Corporate vandalism!

[BrilloPad]

I've always wondered ....

I have never wondered that. No doubt I wont be able to sleep until I google it. Anyone got any mind bleach?

[psychocandy]

I've always wondered (having seen it at another client site) how it works this writing on the wall in poo thing....

Do you "do the business", pick it up out of the bowl, dry it with a bit of bog roll, then use it like a pencil?
Or do you grab it "in transit" sort of thing?

Same with if you post someone a turd. Do you try and plop it straight into the jiffy bag or do the "removal" method? If its going straight into a bag, do you get a friend to hold the bag? Not sure I've got friends who I consider good enough to not tulip on my hand....

Finally, why on earth would you want to grab hold of your own turd?

[NigelJK]

Some cracking comments on that.

[Zigenare]

another act of corporate vandalism then!

I take it you've never been to Salford, then...

There is a reason why "Dirty Old Town" was written in and about Salford.

[JohntheBike]

Should've seen it before HMRC moved there! It were all fields, bluebells an daffodils as far as the eye could see.

Until that ****er Marx came along with his chum Engels! Him and his communist manifesto, I ask you!

Should've seen it before HMRC moved there! It were all fields, bluebells an daffodils as far as the eye could see.

another act of corporate vandalism then!

[Zigenare]

Heartwarming.

EXCLUSIVE: Drugs, defecation, and graffiti at HMRC’s Manchester headquarters – FinTech Futures

Should've seen it before HMRC moved there! It were all fields, bluebells an daffodils as far as the eye could see.

Until that ****er Marx came along with his chum Engels! Him and his communist manifesto, I ask you!