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Previously on "Don't all apply at once..."

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  • WTFH
    replied
    Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
    Fixed Term contract for £42k for three days a week.
    £42k for 3 days a week?
    That’s £14k a day.

    Yeah, I’d do that.

    Leave a comment:


  • SimonMac
    replied
    Fixed Term contract for £42k for three days a week.

    Leave a comment:


  • greenlake
    replied
    Originally posted by SunnyInHades View Post
    Originally posted by original PM View Post
    Nah cultural awareness means ensuring no one gets upset by people using the wrong bathroom...
    'wrong bathroom' could soon to be outlawed.
    Indeed....

    Originally posted by greenlake View Post

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by SunnyInHades View Post
    'wrong bathroom' could soon to be outlawed.

    "Separate male and female toilets could be BANNED over equality law worries
    Employment lawyer Steven Eckett who advises the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning) community, said allowing people to declare their gender may leave bosses open to legal action when it comes to labelling toilets."
    He said: "With an increasing move for gender to be more fluid, employers risk being accused of discriminatory behaviour simply by designating whether a toilet is for specific use for men or women"
    Apr 2018



    There's interesting scope here for potentially 'knocking one out' in the shared lav and indirectly 'knocking up' females when they next rush in for an emergency dump.

    Q. Can someone become pregnant with sperm in toilet seat ?
    A. For pregnancy to occur there would have to be live sperm on the toilet seat, but the sperm cannot live very long outside the body
    A chancer could consider some form of pre-pepared 'warm water/sperm' spray to deploy across and seed the seat just before he exits.
    What on earth is that sign? Don't use the toilet, use the big hole to poop in?

    Leave a comment:


  • SunnyInHades
    replied
    Originally posted by original PM View Post
    Nah cultural awareness means ensuring no one gets upset by people using the wrong bathroom...
    'wrong bathroom' could soon to be outlawed.

    "Separate male and female toilets could be BANNED over equality law worries
    Employment lawyer Steven Eckett who advises the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning) community, said allowing people to declare their gender may leave bosses open to legal action when it comes to labelling toilets."
    He said: "With an increasing move for gender to be more fluid, employers risk being accused of discriminatory behaviour simply by designating whether a toilet is for specific use for men or women"
    Apr 2018



    There's interesting scope here for potentially 'knocking one out' in the shared lav and indirectly 'knocking up' females when they next rush in for an emergency dump.

    Q. Can someone become pregnant with sperm in toilet seat ?
    A. For pregnancy to occur there would have to be live sperm on the toilet seat, but the sperm cannot live very long outside the body
    A chancer could consider some form of pre-pepared 'warm water/sperm' spray to deploy across and seed the seat just before he exits.

    Leave a comment:


  • PhiltheGreek
    replied
    Cultural awareness is code for "You'll need wellies when you go for a piss"

    Leave a comment:


  • original PM
    replied
    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    Offensive?

    It's downright preposterous!!!
    Indeed - if I get called an oppressive white male once more i am going to wear my comedy Hitler 'tache

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by original PM View Post
    Nah cultural awareness means ensuring no one gets upset by people using the wrong bathroom...

    ah and often asking people to actually do some fooking work can be seen as offensive too.

    Offensive?

    It's downright preposterous!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • original PM
    replied
    Nah cultural awareness means ensuring no one gets upset by people using the wrong bathroom...

    ah and often asking people to actually do some fooking work can be seen as offensive too.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    ITIL-certified PMO analyst then.
    Cultural awareness? For £220 a day? Stuff that.
    You need the cultural awareness because they have inshored everyone, none speak the same language and you are supposed to referee?

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    ITIL-certified PMO analyst then.
    Cultural awareness? For £220 a day? Stuff that.

    Leave a comment:


  • PhiltheGreek
    replied
    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    For those of us where social media sites are blocked, what's the job title, location and rate please?
    Program Manager. £270. Location wouldn't matter after that.

    Leave a comment:


  • ladymuck
    replied
    Program Manager - ITIL Certified - Remote working
    Company Name Huntress Remote Company Location London, GB

    Job description
    Program Manager - ITIL Certified - Remote working
    £220 - £270/day
    London

    Huntress
    A leading Technology company are seeking a Program Manager to join their team on a contract until June 2019.
    The role will be working 3 days a week, with the potential to consume additional time, if the business needs it. There will be no specific location as the role will be working from home, but the person must be based in the EMEA time zone.
    They are looking for candidates with experience with configuring and evaluating incident management systems (CRM)
    Day To Day Responsibilities

    Organise meetings, create meeting minutes, follow up on open actions, administrative tasks
    Support in general and own in defined areas the creation of deliverables (e.g. RACI and process descriptions, work instructions or templates)
    Drive inherited activities to achieve the above outputs (e.g. research, information collection, interfacing and aligning with stakeholders)
    Actively contribute to the creation of deliverables of other stakeholders (e.g. create drafts based on meeting outputs, collect feedback and drive review, incorporate feedback into documents bringing it to a final state)

    Qualification

    Expert verbal and written communication skills in English language are required
    Good cultural awareness and interpersonal skills, key stakeholders are based in Europe, India, and US
    Must be able to communicate precisely and concise with stakeholders at various levels
    Objective/outcome driven workstyle; must be able to translate objectives to activities and tasks
    Must be able to create operational procedures and tasks based on defined objectives
    Expert knowledge in Service Management, particularly in the areas Problem-, Knowledge Management and Service Transition (Intermediate ITIL certification is required; ITIL expert certification is preferred; ISO/IEC 20000 and/or COBIT certifications are a bonus)
    A good understanding of Agile Methodologies (e.g. Dev/Ops, SCRUM, Kanban) is preferred
    Familiarity with Visual Studio Team Services is a bonus

    Leave a comment:


  • jbond007
    replied
    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    For those of us where social media sites are blocked, what's the job title, location and rate please?
    Program Manager - ITIL Certified - Remote working
    £220-£270/day

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    For those of us where social media sites are blocked, what's the job title, location and rate please?

    Leave a comment:

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