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Reply to: Conger eel my arse

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Previously on "Conger eel my arse"

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  • greenlake
    replied
    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    She threatened to go for maintenance. She had to sleep with the fishes.
    You just couldn't satisfy her like her latest beau....

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Brillo has just been in touch to say that's Ex-Wife No 3.

    HTH

    MF
    She threatened to go for maintenance. She had to sleep with the fishes.

    Leave a comment:


  • TheFaQQer
    replied
    Originally posted by jamesbrown View Post
    That almost sounds like a request
    A man was in a sex shop looking for a gift for his wife. Mother's Day was just around the corner and he wanted to get her the perfect gift. He was having trouble deciding so he went up to the counter to get some help. He asked the girl at the counter, a stunningly hot blonde, what her favorite toy was. Without hesitation she answered, "Oh, definitely the Magic Dildo!"

    "Magic Dildo?", asked the man.

    "Yes. It's quite possibly the most advanced sex toy ever created. All you have to do is say the words 'Magic Dildo' followed by the part of your body you want it to ****... and it will. Care for a demonstration? I never leave home without mine."

    The man was slightly confused by what he was hearing. It didn't sound possible. So, being the skeptic, he accepted her offer for a demonstration. The girl took out her purse, unzipped it, then said "Magic Dildo my pussy!"

    Just like that, out from her purse erupted a shining golden dildo. It quickly flew below the counter and up the shop keepers skirt. She grasped the glass display case in front of her and began moaning intensely. In between gasps, a few seconds later, she managed "Magic Dildo stop!"

    There was no need for hesitation. The man bought one right then and there! The girl, still trembling, quickly punched in his purchase then hurriedly ran to the back room with her purse. As the man left, all he could hear was, "Magic Dildo my pussy!" Followed by a long satisfied scream.

    He could hardly wait to see his wife's reaction to the gift. He'd never felt this excited in his entire life! He jumped into his car and tore off for home. Racing down the interstate he was swerving from lane to lane, driving like a mad man. Just then he noticed a police car pulling out behind him. Hoping that maybe they didn't see him, he slowed down to a reasonable speed. But it was too late. The sirens came on.

    Reluctantly he pulled over to the side of the road. The cop car pulled in behind him. The officer approached his door, and started the usual spiel, "License and registration."
    The glint of the gold packaging caught the officers eye. After looking a bit closer, thinking it may be a gun, he saw the picture on the box. More than a bit repulsed, the cop demanded, "What in God's name is that thing?!"

    The man, having just retrieved his registration from the glove compartment, looked down at the box. His face flushed in embarrassment, he turned to the officer and said, "That's uhh... A Magic Dildo. It's for my wife. An early Mother's Day gift."

    Still sickened, the cop regretfully retorts, "Yeah right. Magic Dildo, huh? Magic Dildo my arse!"

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Brillo has just been in touch to say that's Ex-Wife No 3.

    HTH

    MF

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladyuk
    replied
    Originally posted by jamesbrown View Post
    That almost sounds like a request
    Urban Dictionary: conger eel

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Anyway they dont reckon conger they reckon it's a fangtooth snake-eel.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bee
    replied
    Why not? The fish is rotten and distorted.

    Giant conger eel caught off British coast - Telegraph

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Originally posted by jamesbrown View Post
    That almost sounds like a request
    A command. It would not dare disobey.

    Leave a comment:


  • cojak
    replied
    As a scuba diver I've met both.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by cojak View Post
    Now that handsome fella is a Moray eel.
    now I am worried about your perversions, avoid the electric eels you may not sit down for weeks.

    Leave a comment:


  • cojak
    replied
    This girlie is a conger.

    Leave a comment:


  • cojak
    replied
    Originally posted by greenlake View Post
    Just make sure your eel is up-to-date on all its shots....

    Now that handsome fella is a Moray eel.

    Leave a comment:


  • ladymuck
    replied
    Originally posted by jamesbrown View Post
    That almost sounds like a request
    Glad it wasn't just me who thought that

    Leave a comment:


  • greenlake
    replied
    Originally posted by jamesbrown View Post
    That almost sounds like a request
    Just make sure your eel is up-to-date on all its shots....

    Leave a comment:


  • ladymuck
    replied
    It's a Graboid!

    Leave a comment:

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