Reply to: Cat rapists

[SueEllen]

I laugh so much with this one.

Glad something stopped you being a miserable git

[BrilloPad]

Ah, Sue Ellens underwear.

King Arthur was getting ready to go on a quest, but was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all the Horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin the Magician for advice. After explaining his problem to Merlin, the Wizard thought about the problem for a while and then told the king to come back in a week and he would have a solution to the problem.

The next week the King returned to Merlin returned to see the new invention. A Chastity Belt... except that it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good," said the King "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect the queen???" "Ah sire, just observe," Said Merlin as he pulled out an old wand that he was going to throw away. Merlin then inserted the wand into the hole in the chastity belt whereupon a guillotine blade came down and cut the wand neatly in two halves.
"Merlin you are a genius, now I can leave knowing that my Queen is fully protected." Said the King. After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out on his quest.

Several years later the King returned to Camelot. Immediately, the king assembled all the knights of the Round Table into the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for inspection. Sure enough every knight was either amputated or damaged in some way, all except for Sir Galahad. "Sir Galahad, you are the one and only true knight what is in my power to grant you??? Name it and it is yours." Said the King.

But Sir Galahad was speechless.

[AtW]

I laugh so much with this one.

Go boil your head!!!

[Bee]

Ah, Sue Ellens underwear.

I laugh so much with this one.

[SueEllen]

Interestingly enough a use to live on a road with a big white tomcat...

There were no cat fights.

I couldn't work out why until one day I saw the tom lying on the street in the sun. Another cat walking down the road saw him. This other cat's fur then stop in end and he turned tail. The tom had just moved his head and opened his eyes.

[SueEllen]

Ah, Sue Ellens underwear.

Only in cold weather

[Paddy]

Anyone know how to stop local tom cats fighting over and assaulting my two neutered females. Softly softly approach (water pistols) doesn't seem to be working. The little b'stards are wailing all night long.

[quackhandle]

Ah.....................so that was the solution to ANY cat problem

FTFY.

qh

[northernladyuk]

Indeed, I believe his dress at his court appearance let him down, the same outfit that he was wearing when addressing things is in his garden

I believe that's the compromising photograph AtW had of the judge that led to his unconditional discharge. The dry cleaners had to put a surcharge on the bill.

[MrMarkyMark]

AtW had the same issue with squirrels.

He said the only solution is to wee on the garden boundary.

At least that was what the defense team alleged.

Indeed, I believe his dress at his court appearance let him down, the same outfit that he was wearing when addressing things is in his garden

[northernladyuk]

AtW had the same issue with squirrels.

He said the only solution is to wee on the garden boundary.

At least that was what the defense team alleged.

Trouble is, all that kebab meat stuck to his old chap attracted the foxes instead.

[BrilloPad]

AtW had the same issue with squirrels.

He said the only solution is to wee on the garden boundary.

At least that was what the defense team alleged.

[Uncle Albert]

You need to dress your cats up to look more scary.

[MrMarkyMark]

UA 571-C Automated Sentry Gun

It's the only way to be sure.

qh

Ah.....................so that was the solution to your previous cat problem

[Eirikur]

If they are sterilised why to deny the male cats some fun?