Reply to: In what language is this NOT a threat

[vetran]

It does indeed.

"Oh daddy, it's so great to be at university where there are common people and not just West London girls." I created a monster.

[clearedforlanding]

Not if they grow into money grabbing adults like her.

It does happen.

It does indeed.

"Oh daddy, it's so great to be at university where there are common people and not just West London girls." I created a monster.

[SueEllen]

At some point your children will grow older and become adults. As an individual they'll be mature enough to understand the position you're now facing today. At that time they'll appreciate the time you devoted to them, the time you spent with them, rather than the assets you purchased.

Not if they grow into money grabbing adults like her.

It does happen.

[scooterscot]

At some point your children will grow older and become adults. As an individual they'll be mature enough to understand the position you're now facing today. At that time they'll appreciate the time you devoted to them, the time you spent with them, rather than the assets you purchased.

[clearedforlanding]

Stop listening and talking to her. This is what solicitors are for. At some point, you have to realise that the dialogue has completely broken down.

It took me many years to learn that lesson.

[SueEllen]

I agree but she claims no-one will rent to her as she is not working - of course this is rubbish but it took her more than a year to find a proper rental in the meantime she was in a B&B. Oh and don't forget the Thatcher generation "ownership" is "better".

Only because she must have been determined to live in a very specific area as there are landlords about who want long term tenants like your wife.

Another reason not to buy her a property for the kids is that you presume she is going to shack up or remarry - poor person - and then she will be tied to the property in a particular which will cause her difficulties in her new relationship. If she and the other person decides to buy a house together you will still be giving her a similar amount of money until the kids are move out to live with you or become 18.

Yup no perjury so no basis for the court to approve a freezing order, hence it is just a threat. Strangely she is talking to a no win no fee shark so I don't know what lies she has told them.

The no-win no-fee shark will do their investigations and when they realise you aren't as rich as what she is making out will drop the case.

[vetran]

I can open my accounts to whoever a court approves but her issue is going to be about hidden money I suspect - but I don't have any hidden money.

Mediation on what - to offer to pay more than I had to under the already finalised court order?

the news about seeing someone else did come out unexpectly about 2 months ago.



I agree but she claims no-one will rent to her as she is not working - of course this is rubbish but it took her more than a year to find a proper rental in the meantime she was in a B&B. Oh and don't forget the Thatcher generation "ownership" is "better".



Yup no perjury so no basis for the court to approve a freezing order, hence it is just a threat. Strangely she is talking to a no win no fee shark so I don't know what lies she has told them.



I am already :

Point is to offer a reasonable solution and ask her to make an accusation that you can prove untrue.



Its all nasty. friends & relatives have been through similar but most times the kids figure out who was unreasonable when they get older. Most I know have turned out alright where their parent showed they loved them.

[MPwannadecentincome]

did you get a final settlement in writing?

Can she identify where the money she believes you are hiding came from? Would you open your accounts to the CSA or court appointed expert (not hers).

Can you get her to mediation or at least offer.

Surely if you are seen to be reasonable she has to pay for the lawyer?

You started seeing someone else recently that seems to bring the nutty out in the ex.

I can open my accounts to whoever a court approves but her issue is going to be about hidden money I suspect - but I don't have any hidden money.

Mediation on what - to offer to pay more than I had to under the already finalised court order?

the news about seeing someone else did come out unexpectly about 2 months ago.

He needs his head examined if he's going to buy her a property to live in. There is nothing wrong with them living in rental accommodation until she sorts out her job prospects and if she never sorts them out it's her own tough luck.

He's better of sorting out his affairs so if the kids choose they can come and live with him.

I agree but she claims no-one will rent to her as she is not working - of course this is rubbish but it took her more than a year to find a proper rental in the meantime she was in a B&B. Oh and don't forget the Thatcher generation "ownership" is "better".

Bang on the money there.

+1 to Vetran, also point out that you have the court documents and if she believes you committed perjury (you didn't did you?) then go ahead. She won't get a legal aid solicitor for that claim and there's not a no-win no-fee shark that would take it either. You have paid/are paying your dues and should have sufficient access to your children to ensure they are being looked after properly (with your maintenance).

Yup no perjury so no basis for the court to approve a freezing order, hence it is just a threat. Strangely she is talking to a no win no fee shark so I don't know what lies she has told them.

This kind of divorce cases where the parents use the kids as a war weapon makes me sick.

I am already :

[Bee]

This kind of divorce cases where the parents use the kids as a war weapon makes me sick.

[northernladyuk]

Bang on the money there.

+1 to Vetran, also point out that you have the court documents and if she believes you committed perjury (you didn't did you?) then go ahead. She won't get a legal aid solicitor for that claim and there's not a no-win no-fee shark that would take it either. You have paid/are paying your dues and should have sufficient access to your children to ensure they are being looked after properly (with your maintenance).

Claim for perjury? That's a criminal offence reported to police, tried in courts for perhaps a 1 to 2 stretch.

[NigelJK]

He's better of sorting out his affairs so if the kids choose they can come and live with him.

Bang on the money there.

+1 to Vetran, also point out that you have the court documents and if she believes you committed perjury (you didn't did you?) then go ahead. She won't get a legal aid solicitor for that claim and there's not a no-win no-fee shark that would take it either. You have paid/are paying your dues and should have sufficient access to your children to ensure they are being looked after properly (with your maintenance).

[northernladyuk]

Glad we made up a prenuptial agreement. But was made up outside of the UK, not sure if it will stand in court here

Don't worry. Shauny can rarely stand in court either.

[Eirikur]

Glad we made up a prenuptial agreement. But was made up outside of the UK, not sure if it will stand in court here

[SueEllen]

from the back story I agree. Sounds like she is spiralling down.

However she has manged to get his finances locked and has found a leech to bleed him dry.

Of course love it or hate it she is the mum of her kids.

I've met plenty of kids - who are now adults - who chose to live with their dads once they were in secondary school. I'm related to one.

[OwlHoot]

Sheesh, these horror stories about divorce settlements are beyond belief.

Seems like one lesson from the above discussion is that any payments conceded as part of a final settlement for a specific purpose, such as buying a house, should be paid into an escrow account and withdrawable from there only for the agreed purpose at the time this is put into effect.

Just paying the partner (usually the ex-wife) up front for some planned future purchase is madness if they can simply piss it up the wall and then come back demanding another bite of the cherry.