Job of the day

[IL Cattivo]

Caught this one posted on LinkedIn today...

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Reference
JEDEVOPSE1

Location
Brighton, England

Sector
IT

Salary
£400.00 to £475.00 per annum

DevOps / Ansible / AWS / Github / Brighton

A new opportunity has arisen for a DevOps Engineer to come on board for a high profile project in Brighton. The contract will initially be 6 months but has a good chance of extension.

You, the successful DevOps / AWS Engineer will be joining a highly skilled team as part of a major release;

The skills required for this role are:

-Linux (Centos, Redhat, Debian)

-AWS

-Ansible/Puppet/Chef/Docker

-(CI Tools) Jenkins or Hudson

-Github or SVN / Terraform

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Dear oh dear..

[MrMarkyMark]

My last client replaced all the SQL and Oracle DBA's with Indian guys on work permits. They get less than that per day, and the databases are still working, ish (sort of).

Hurrah for globalisation! Not so good for database peeps in the UK mind...

Years ago I did a contract for one of the big 5.
The Indian guys were on £30PD, all living in one house in Hounslow which the consultancy payed for.

They decided rather than logically joining tables during writing the ETL, they would process the records by using a cursor, row by row.

My comment was "Join the bloody tables, you're not doing fecking Cobol now"

[Intel]

My last client replaced all the SQL and Oracle DBA's with Indian guys on work permits. They get less than that per day, and the databases are still working, ish (sort of).

Hurrah for globalisation! Not so good for database peeps in the UK mind...

I love those kind of places. Last one got me a good 6 months of working fixing everything once the plates had finally stopped spinning and crashed to the ground...

[DimPrawn]

Just think what sort of quality DBA you will get for that money

My last client replaced all the SQL and Oracle DBA's with Indian guys on work permits. They get less than that per day, and the databases are still working, ish (sort of).

Hurrah for globalisation! Not so good for database peeps in the UK mind...

[stek]

Too posh to lube

My best one since Cojak banned me for my Jimmy Savile 'Clunk, Click' one. I tried to sell it to Frankie Boyle but even he woldn't go with it according to his agent who probably told me "Frankie thanks you for the joke but feels it's far too clever and too naughty even for Frank", I imagined he'd said.

[MrMarkyMark]

I prefer best butter when being shafted by an agent.

That's quite a clever joke wot I just did....

Too posh to lube

[stek]

I wouldn't even accept that as my margin

I prefer best butter when being shafted by an agent.

That's quite a clever joke wot I just did....

[DodgyAgent]

DBA - Oracle 12c - SQL Server 2008/2012 - T-SQL - Contract - Lancashire - September-22-2016 (EsPdz)

Even more impressive from next April when it's auto IR35 caught.....

I wouldn't even accept that as my margin

[Intel]

Can you imagine how low the rate would be if it was in Yorkshire???

[MrMarkyMark]

Desirable qualifications
MCSE Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (SQL, IIS optional exams)
CCP Citrix Certified Professional in Citrix Metaframe XP
VCP VMware Certified Professional VI3
ITIL V3 Foundation Certificate in IT Service Management

looks like those will just stay desirable, then

[eek]

I think (in fact I know) the agent has the wrong spec there.....

[vetran]

oh guess why their previous expert left?

[MrMarkyMark]

Just think what sort of quality DBA you will get for that money

[Intel]

and just in case you can't be a***d to click the link...

£100-£120 a day.....

DBA - Oracle 12c - SQL Server 2008/2012 - T-SQL - Contract
My client, a Local Authority, are looking for an experienced Oracle DBA to join their team on a contract basis. The ideal Oracle DBA will have experience and skills in the following areas:
Experience
Support, maintenance and upgrade of business software systems
Administrating Oracle 12c and SQL Server 2008/2012 databases (DBA)
Oracle Licensing knowledge
SQL Server T-SQL/Oracle PL/SQL/MySQL
SQL Server Reporting Services 2008 and experience of querying a range of different database schema designs
PHP/ASP.Net/VB.Net
Linux operating systems such as Centos
SOAP Web Services
Advanced IIS/Apache
Website security (Secure Sockets Layer protocols/Cipher Suites)
Enterprise Firewalls
Desirable qualifications
MCSE Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (SQL, IIS optional exams)
CCP Citrix Certified Professional in Citrix Metaframe XP
VCP VMware Certified Professional VI3
ITIL V3 Foundation Certificate in IT Service Management
DBA - Oracle 12c - SQL Server 2008/2012 - T-SQL - Contract

[Intel]

DBA - Oracle 12c - SQL Server 2008/2012 - T-SQL - Contract - Lancashire - September-22-2016 (EsPdz)

Even more impressive from next April when it's auto IR35 caught.....