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Previously on "Most bizarre reason for losing a contract."

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  • d000hg
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    So, when I was working in the public sector for the first time, and slapped the lady diversity officer on the arse and said "Hey, big momma, you ever want a good ****, just smile", it sort of backfired.
    Her arse backfired?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by FatLazyContractor View Post
    He is. In fact, his idea of foreplay is half an hour of begging

    Whereas mine is half an hour of negotiating as much discount as possible.
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by FatLazyContractor View Post
    He is. In fact, his idea of doggy style is half an hour of sitting there and begging MrsMM
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • FatLazyContractor
    replied
    Originally posted by AttentivIS View Post
    arent you notorious on here for being sexually obsessed?
    He is. In fact, his idea of foreplay is half an hour of begging

    Leave a comment:


  • MrMarkyMark
    replied
    Originally posted by AttentivIS View Post
    arent you notorious on here for being sexually obsessed?
    You might have got the wrong man this time, but please feel free to start the rumours

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by FatLazyContractor View Post
    Ey yup lass!!

    Fancy a ride on my new Ferrari?
    Surely it'd be safer if she sat IN it? Oh, wait, no. Not if you're sat in it as well. Carry on.

    Leave a comment:


  • AttentivIS
    replied
    Originally posted by stek View Post
    I once said in the players lounge after a game at the then Reebok Stadium, Bolton (Bolton vs Charlton FA Cup tie circa 1998) to Ricardo Gardner (black, Jamaican) "And you must be Eidur Gudjohnsson? (white, Icelandic)" for a laugh.

    I'd planned it beforehand and my brother who got me into the players lounge (and the match ticket) warned me not to say it but I did it anyway and guess what?

    Stony silence.....

    Never been (allowed) in the players lounge since.....

    Not contract related and I'd had a few that day to be honest. Won 1-0 and it was on MOTD but started my record of never seeing the Wanderers lose what in was the East Stand (I normally sat in the Lofty Stand or West Stand as it was then). 7 times in East Stand, 7 wins, dunno hundreds of times in West/Lofty stand, must be 50/50....
    Was that the day you realised that you had been adopted?

    Leave a comment:


  • AttentivIS
    replied
    Originally posted by MrMarkyMark View Post
    Maybe he thought you were a "Toilet Trader"
    arent you notorious on here for being sexually obsessed?

    Leave a comment:


  • MrMarkyMark
    replied
    Originally posted by rl4engc View Post
    -- and best of all:
    5) Leaving a stain on a toilet cubicle door. An elderly cleaner commented "I've not seen it for a while, but I know what it looks like".

    He was subsequently forced out the door, citing a "Lack of dynamicism in front of the customer" or such like.
    I disagree looks like he showed plenty

    Leave a comment:


  • unemployed
    replied
    Originally posted by rl4engc View Post
    This new permie at a company I used to work for. There were several infractions, namely;

    1) Falling asleep in a team meeting, with the manager waking him up with a "Sorry, am I boring you?"
    2) Blatantly logging on to dating sites during work hours.
    3) Turning up late to work after a "hot date" the previous night, complete with very visible "love bite" on neck.
    4) Writing letters to one of the HR lasses about how "they should be together, come and live with me" etc.
    -- and best of all:
    5) Leaving a stain on a toilet cubicle door. An elderly cleaner commented "I've not seen it for a while, but I know what it looks like".

    He was subsequently forced out the door, citing a "Lack of dynamicism in front of the customer" or such like.

    and i have been benched ever since

    Leave a comment:


  • rl4engc
    replied
    This new permie at a company I used to work for. There were several infractions, namely;

    1) Falling asleep in a team meeting, with the manager waking him up with a "Sorry, am I boring you?"
    2) Blatantly logging on to dating sites during work hours.
    3) Turning up late to work after a "hot date" the previous night, complete with very visible "love bite" on neck.
    4) Writing letters to one of the HR lasses about how "they should be together, come and live with me" etc.
    -- and best of all:
    5) Leaving a stain on a toilet cubicle door. An elderly cleaner commented "I've not seen it for a while, but I know what it looks like".

    He was subsequently forced out the door, citing a "Lack of dynamicism in front of the customer" or such like.

    Leave a comment:


  • FatLazyContractor
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    Only in made-up-story-land.
    Ey yup lass!!

    Fancy a ride on my new Ferrari?

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    I've never seen this. People really complain when someone says a bad thing to them?


    Only in made-up-story-land.

    Leave a comment:


  • MrMarkyMark
    replied
    FTFY
    Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
    They realised I was not as good as Suity

    Leave a comment:


  • original PM
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    That must be the third story with someone complaining to their management about next to nothing. I've never seen this. People really complain when someone says a bad thing to them? People can't shoulder someone elses opinion and just get on with it anymore?
    I'm very surprised I've finished some of my contracts thinking about some of the heated exchanges I've had in the past. Must admit I can't think it actually getting personal but I've had instances where I've given people my opinions of their skill level and delivery.
    Oh I have seen this in spades.

    I have even seen people have lies told about them to HR because they did not fit in/agree with the existing status quo

    Some people are absolute *******

    Leave a comment:

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