Reply to: Funeral expenses

[AtW]

Is it cheaper if you blow yourself up with a suicide vest, whilst shouting allahu akbar?

Or does picking up the bits add to the cost?

This might invalidate the life insurance his wife secretly took on him...

[greenlake]

Just serve them up at the reception....

[DodgyAgent]

I have a sideline business


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...a7f0a317ee.jpg

[Lost It]

Exactly, I mean **** - how hard can it be?

Let me look at this piece of paper.

Did he have a pulse?
Was he breathing?
Brains on the Dashboard?

Great, I'll sign this piece of paper. Please swipe you Chip & PIN card first.

I was taught once on a first aid course that ABC didn't mean Airway, Breathing, Circulation at all. It means Access, Barclaycard or Cash. It was some time ago.. Must have been before 1996. God I'm feeling old....

[clearedforlanding]

Cheeky fecking b^stards

Exactly, I mean **** - how hard can it be?

Let me look at this piece of paper.

Did he have a pulse?
Was he breathing?
Brains on the Dashboard?

Great, I'll sign this piece of paper. Please swipe you Chip & PIN card first.

[OwlHoot]

Daytime TV is littered with advert for funeral expenses - with costs quoted at upwards of £7k ...

When did they start advertising all that?

Traditionally three things (at least) were not allowed to be advertised on UK TV: Firearms and suchlike, gambling, and funeral services.

I guess the ban on gambling ads must have gone years ago, when the Lottery started. But I thought the other two were still in effect.

[oracleslave]

Leave your body to medical science?

Told the missus we're both getting cremated. It's her last chance of having a smoking hot body

[barrydidit]

Doctor’s fees for death certification £165

Cheeky fecking b^stards

[SimonMac]

So if I arranged a Viking style send off with flaming arrows shot into the family dinghy filled with combustibles & cast off towards the setting sun

I could save all of the above

Yes but the red tape from the council will be a PITA, although precedents have been set so they are legal

[DimPrawn]

Is it cheaper if you blow yourself up with a suicide vest, whilst shouting allahu akbar?

Or does picking up the bits add to the cost?

[Lost It]

Leave your body to medical science?

[Troll]

Disbursement costs
Item Average cost
Cremation fees £660
Burial fees £1,750
Minister fees, religious or secular officiant or celebrant – in other words the person who performs the funeral service £140+
Church of England service in a crematorium £164

So if I arranged a Viking style send off with flaming arrows shot into the family dinghy filled with combustibles & cast off towards the setting sun

I could save all of the above

[d000hg]

Mine better be more than that or I'm coming back to haunt someone.

Kind of depends really. If you're not providing a free bar (and we were advised very strongly NOT to) then for 25 people that's £15 each assuming you can get free room hire.

We just did mum's in the local pub she used to enjoy visiting.

[mudskipper]

Mum's was a bit over 4k. Nothing fancy. That doesn't include catering, orders of service, flowers etc - probably another £500

[Pondlife]

Catering for a wake/funeral reception £370

Mine better be more than that or I'm coming back to haunt someone.