Reply to: Personal dilemma

[BrilloPad]

A friend xxxx topped himself in Sep 2013. I tried to find out the inquest details. They are locked for 15 years.

[FatLazyContractor]

Apologies if anyone has mentioned it (no time to read the whole thread now), but can't one buy a copy of someone's death certificate similarly to how one can order deeds from the Land Registry?

(I'm guessing the cause of death will be "cancer". But of course it could be anything, such as a car crash.)

Yes. But he is shatting in his pants about being caught with that paper by his wife.

[OwlHoot]

Dear Marge

Just noticed an old obituary for the woman who was my first (i.e. bonkable) girlfriend - we were together from teens into my early 20's but I ended it after returning from an extended journey abroad as frankly I was bored which she was upset about.

I know she got married a few years later to a guy in the Merchant Navy & I'm ashamed to say we did do a one night stand while her husband was at sea but have had no contact for 30 odd years

The obituary is very brief and dates back to 2006 with no detail about the cause of death- further digging on the internet has identified her family members, their address but I cannot find any contact details on Linkedin / social media etc and remarkably they live only 50 miles from me in the South East (aint stalking great!)

Curiosity is eating me up about how she died - would it be appropriate to drop a old school mail to the husband saying I've only just found out -commiserations blah blah and provide my email address to communicate should he wish (knowing wimmins inability to keep stum he may know about our brief fling while he was away)

or let sleeping dogs lie?

Apologies if anyone has mentioned it (no time to read the whole thread now), but can't one buy a copy of someone's death certificate similarly to how one can order deeds from the Land Registry?

(I'm guessing the cause of death will be "cancer". But of course it could be anything, such as a car crash.)

[MarillionFan]

Go to the funeral and mingle & if the opportunity arises climb in there for one last farewell ****. You know it makes sense

[d000hg]

An old friend/love contacting you to say they just found out and wanted to pass on commiserations, and asking how she died, would not be unusual.

[Chuck]

or let sleeping dogs lie?

This. What could possibly be gained from you sticking your oar in now?

[Troll]

Sign up for a fake email address "amandatroll@hotmail.co.uk" - send from that and he's none the wiser. But be prepared for a suggestion for a meet up.

Oh - and while you're on could you correct the typo in the header please

[Troll]

Sign up for a fake email address "amandatroll@hotmail.co.uk" - send from that and he's none the wiser. But be prepared for a suggestion for a meet up.

You missed the "I cannot find any contact details on Linkedin / social media etc " - so all I have is an address (checked out on google maps ) a possible phone number if I pay the extra on whitepages (although a BT search suggests they are actually ex directory)

So realistically the options are send letter of condolence by post & include my email with a hint to talk further

Call around unannounced

If he knows about the fling then I'm fooked either way

[administrator]

Sign up for a fake email address "amandatroll@hotmail.co.uk" - send from that and he's none the wiser. But be prepared for a suggestion for a meet up.

[Troll]

Explains your sticky keys

It's like a plasterers radio

[Troll]

Or one or more of the kids are his

FFS doesn't anyone read the specs! not seen her for 30+ years and her kids are early / mid twenties so unless there was a record breaking gestation period of a decade it's a non starter

[Troll]

If you boned her while you were married you are a turd. Boning her while she was married is bad enough

I was single at the time she was not

[Dallas]

Really

[suityou01]

BTW, are you a blondie, darling?

Thick as pig tulip from the sounds of things.

[xoggoth]

She ain't dead but have similar dilemma regarding an old girlfriend. Like to meet up and it would be very easy to contact her as she has a significant online profile but not worth screwing up her marriage again.