Reply to: Agents - a balanced view

[oracleslave]

I've had at least five bans for that, young lady. I advise you against this appalling behaviour.

Although, to be fair, mine was always for using the uncensored version of 'c**t'.

It's been a long-standing problem for you huh?

[EternalOptimist]

I run a company and my job is to maximise the profits. If I wanted to change the world I would have become missionary or a Shaolin priest or a politician.

Sometimes I work direct, sometimes not. Sometimes word of mouth and sometimes contacts.

It's a good rant, but it wont change my modus operandi

[SueEllen]

Well you can play them at their own game.

Ever been told "Ok fantastic I'll send you an email to confirm" and not got an email? It's because telling you they will put you forward when they have no intention of doing so gets you off the phone as quickly as possible so they can call the next person on their list.

So if an agent is going on and on, I say "Really sorry about this, I'm just in the middle of x,y,z, can you give me a call back in an hour? OK bye". <click>

To be fair it's very easy to cut of recent graduates who are CV fishing.

Though I've had a bullsh*tter who I did a promotion to who actually had a contract I got.

[ShandyDrinker]

Pinched from IPSE forums

https://mocko.org.uk/b/2015/10/14/do...r-infestation/

I particularly like the verb "mouthfart"

Brilliant blog post... one of the best I've seen in ages!

[suityou01]

Yeah, the "run me through your CV" (alternatively: "what's your experience?") and "what is it you're calling about?" lines are my favourite. They scream "do my job for me".

Well you can play them at their own game.

Ever been told "Ok fantastic I'll send you an email to confirm" and not got an email? It's because telling you they will put you forward when they have no intention of doing so gets you off the phone as quickly as possible so they can call the next person on their list.

So if an agent is going on and on, I say "Really sorry about this, I'm just in the middle of x,y,z, can you give me a call back in an hour? OK bye". <click>

[Zero Liability]

This is most uplifting

I am now taking charge of the call the moment it comes in.

Suity: "Before you spend to long on this call, can I just point out I am only looking for contract work and I don't offer any references until I am offered".
SH: "That's no problem. Blah blah waffle"

Suity: "Again can I just stop you there, can you please email me the job specification to have a look through. Let me have a read and I will give you a call back".
SH: "The client hasn't actually given us a job spec"

Suity: "OK well I would create one and get it signed off by the client first before going to market. Saves a lot of time in the long run."

In other news :

SH: "Hi Suity, this is SH from Incorporated This Morning Ltd"
Suity: "Never heard of you."

SH: "Oh really, we have lots of big clients."
Suity: "Good to hear. Can you drop me a mail with a link to your web site and attach the job spec? I will take a look and call you back."

Or happening more and more

SH: "Hi Suity, I just found your CV online and wanted to understand more about your situation"
Suity: "Do you have a particular role to discuss?"

SH: "Oh we have lots of roles, and I just wanted to find out more about your background so I can put you forward for the most appropriate one"
Suity: "What I would do is read my CV before calling, then you would know all about me and could approach me for a specific role. I suspect you don't have a role and this is a fishing trip."

Yeah, the "run me through your CV" (alternatively: "what's your experience?") and "what is it you're calling about?" lines are my favourite. They scream "do my job for me".

[DaveB]

I've had at least five bans for that, young lady. I advise you against this appalling behaviour.

Although, to be fair, mine was always for using the uncensored version of 'c**t'.

Wot? Curt? Thats a bit harsh!

[AtW]

The only good Agent is Orange Agent...

[TestMangler]

How did you manage to get around the filter?!

You don't know how to do that, shithead ?

[TestMangler]

<taps nose/>

I've had at least five bans for that, young lady. I advise you against this appalling behaviour.

Although, to be fair, mine was always for using the uncensored version of 'c**t'.

[suityou01]

This is most uplifting

I am now taking charge of the call the moment it comes in.

Suity: "Before you spend to long on this call, can I just point out I am only looking for contract work and I don't offer any references until I am offered".
SH: "That's no problem. Blah blah waffle"

Suity: "Again can I just stop you there, can you please email me the job specification to have a look through. Let me have a read and I will give you a call back".
SH: "The client hasn't actually given us a job spec"

Suity: "OK well I would create one and get it signed off by the client first before going to market. Saves a lot of time in the long run."

In other news :

SH: "Hi Suity, this is SH from Incorporated This Morning Ltd"
Suity: "Never heard of you."

SH: "Oh really, we have lots of big clients."
Suity: "Good to hear. Can you drop me a mail with a link to your web site and attach the job spec? I will take a look and call you back."

Or happening more and more

SH: "Hi Suity, I just found your CV online and wanted to understand more about your situation"
Suity: "Do you have a particular role to discuss?"

SH: "Oh we have lots of roles, and I just wanted to find out more about your background so I can put you forward for the most appropriate one"
Suity: "What I would do is read my CV before calling, then you would know all about me and could approach me for a specific role. I suspect you don't have a role and this is a fishing trip."

[jamesbrown]

Like the Guinness, he ain't bitter*






















*or wrong

[mudskipper]

How did you manage to get around the filter?!

<taps nose/>

[FatLazyContractor]

Get as far as parable of tuliphead - he'll stab you in the back sooner or later.

How did you manage to get around the filter?!

[mudskipper]

Try calling one. You’ll find yourself talking to some feckless third-rate bulltulipter who overuses your name and pretends to care about your weekend in a naff attempt to “build rapport”. Most are failed salesmen; too slimy for it to work on anyone but us social inepts in tech. They’ll force-feed you half an hour of sales patter before finally admitting who the client is.



He's one of mine

Get as far as parable of shit:head - he'll stab you in the back sooner or later.