Burglars caught..0 Golliwogs caught..3

[NickFitz]

Police 'only investigate burglaries at even-numbered homes' - Telegraph

As you might expect from the wretched apology for a newspaper the Telegraph has been reduced to nowadays, both the headline and the general tenor of the story are utter bollocks.

All burglaries were investigated, but some in odd-numbered premises didn't get a visit from a forensic examiner, unless they involved a vulnerable person, or there were obvious signs of evidence to be gathered, or there was a pattern of similar crimes in the area. And it was only a trial, which has already ended. And it had no discernible effect on detection rates.

As a Leicester resident at an odd-numbered address, I'm not actually that bothered now I know the facts of the matter. I'm more pissed off with this crappy government for cutting funding to the police service so much that it has to waste time buggering about with experiments like this, particularly given that the hypocritical Tory bastards love to present themselves as "tough on crime".

You can get a more balanced idea of the facts from this report in the local rag: Police accused of ignoring odd-number home burglary victims | Leicester Mercury

The reporter who wrote that is a pub acquaintance of mine, and unlike the shoddy hacks at the Telegraph he's a competent and trustworthy journalist. (I'm not so sure about the sub who write the linkbait headline.)

[Bacchus]

I live at number 99. Bugger.

However this gives me an idea. I'll swap the number on my door with number 98. If they complain about the theft of their number I won't have to worry about prosecution because the police will think they're in an odd numbered house.

This is a good plan!

My house only has a name

It's quite an odd name, but is it too odd

[VectraMan]

I live at number 99. Bugger.

However this gives me an idea. I'll swap the number on my door with number 98. If they complain about the theft of their number I won't have to worry about prosecution because the police will think they're in an odd numbered house.

[original PM]

Police 'only investigate burglaries at even-numbered homes' - Telegraph

Except if you live in an odd numbered house

And need a police ref number to claim on your insurance.

or can you just get that over the phone if you are in an odd numbered house?

[DimPrawn]

Police 'only investigate burglaries at even-numbered homes' - Telegraph

Police have been refusing to investigate reported burglaries at odd-numbered homes, it has emerged.

The scheme, trialled by Leicestershire police, is now being considered in at least five other counties after it was said to have had no impact on crime rates or public satisfaction.

[AtW]

Kids these days got no style.

[DimPrawn]

Hmm.. If it comes to this, you could always resort to this particular mechanism of ensuring the police attend the scene of the crime!

Actually a better one would be to say you think they are armed, looks like shotguns, they are pointing them at us, we think they are about to kill us.

If all goes well some trigger happy firearms expert will off them when they carry of some swag.

[billybiro]

Or not - Sara Thornton: Police may no longer attend burglaries - BBC News

Hmm.. If it comes to this, you could always resort to this particular mechanism of ensuring the police attend the scene of the crime!

[Bacchus]

Thank heavens for our wonderful bobbies.
They have bravely and single handedly rounded up a fearsome gang of golliwog impersonators

now at last, they might get around to catching some fckng burglars

Or not - Sara Thornton: Police may no longer attend burglaries - BBC News

[northernladuk]

Loving this bit...

Three teenagers who caused controversy after dressing up as golliwogs for a town’s gala have handed themselves in to police, it has been reported.

Police Scotland had launched an investigation to identify three youths who "blacked up" as golliwogs for the summer parade in Wick, Caithness.

They handed themselves in... Standing in reception ready to give any details needed... But the police had to launch an investigation to identify them.. Erm, they are stood at the front desk you morons

[DimPrawn]

Video: Armed burglars arrive at Romford house in a Porsche - Telegraph

[EternalOptimist]

Thank heavens for our wonderful bobbies.
They have bravely and single handedly rounded up a fearsome gang of golliwog impersonators

now at last, they might get around to catching some fckng burglars