Paging SimonMac

[DimPrawn]

Generation selfie-stick again isn't it?

Ejukated under New Labour.

Caller: Me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon.

Police: Sorry?

Caller: Me girlfriend let the cat eat me bacon.

Police: Right, okay, what would you like the police do with regards to that, sir?

Caller: Cause I'm [unintelligble].

Police: So you want to beat up your girlfriend because the cat's eaten your bacon?

Caller: Eugh, don't speak to her.

Caller: You what? I want to press charges.

Police: Against who? Your girlfriend or the cat?

Caller: You what love?

Police: Who do you want to press charges against, your girlfriend or the cat?

[Silence.]

Caller: Both of them.

Police: Right, sir, it's not a criminal offence to let a cat eat your bacon, OK? And we don't arrest cats. I'm very sorry.

Caller: But she, me girlfriend, allowed the cat to do it.

Police: Right I'm very sorry sir but it's not a 999 emergency 'cause your girlfriend let the cat eat the bacon. I do apologise but it's not a police matter.




Next the stoopid twat will be ringing them to moan about Boomers and house prices. Thick as pigtulip.

[eek]

It seems that the police didn't like your last 999 call

Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'