Investment Disaster

[MarillionFan]

When I was a young lad, (17 to be precise) I worked for the GPO.
One day I was just about to go to the chippy for me and the gaffer, when he pulled over and nipped into the bookies.
When he came out I asked him what it was all about and he told me he had put a fiver on a dead cert at 20-1.
So naturally I spent me weeks dinner money and bus fare home, because I really needed that hundred quid.
That horse is still running and for the rest of the week I starved and wore me shoes out walking home. It was the best thing that could have happened!
I never ever had the urge to gamble, I became risk averse and I just wished the gaffer had taken me to the pub and got me a bad hangover because then I wouldn't be a boozer either.

that's by the by. A while back I stuck 10 k of my ISA allowance on a VERY high risk fund. The missus was furious, she made me promise never to be so stupid again and I agreed.
It was out of character, I felt slightly ashamed and all capitalistical. I felt 'dirty'
And now, disaster. The bastid money got taken out of me bank last week and the fund has been making a hundred quid a day.

I feel like a spiv

You're not cut out to be a dirty spekulant. Stick to nicking hub cubs and saying 'Alright, alright, alright' in a high pitched whiney voice.

[vetran]

that's by the by. A while back I stuck 10 k of my ISA allowance on a VERY high risk fund. The missus was furious, she made me promise never to be so stupid again and I agreed.
It was out of character, I felt slightly ashamed and all capitalistical. I felt 'dirty'
And now, disaster. The bastid money got taken out of me bank last week and the fund has been making a hundred quid a day.

I feel like a spiv

MF wrong Sockie!

[cojak]

When I was a young lad, (17 to be precise) I worked for the GPO.
One day I was just about to go to the chippy for me and the gaffer, when he pulled over and nipped into the bookies.
When he came out I asked him what it was all about and he told me he had put a fiver on a dead cert at 20-1.
So naturally I spent me weeks dinner money and bus fare home, because I really needed that hundred quid.
That horse is still running and for the rest of the week I starved and wore me shoes out walking home. It was the best thing that could have happened!
I never ever had the urge to gamble, I became risk averse and I just wished the gaffer had taken me to the pub and got me a bad hangover because then I wouldn't be a boozer either.

that's by the by. A while back I stuck 10 k of my ISA allowance on a VERY high risk fund. The missus was furious, she made me promise never to be so stupid again and I agreed.
It was out of character, I felt slightly ashamed and all capitalistical. I felt 'dirty'
And now, disaster. The bastid money got taken out of me bank last week and the fund has been making a hundred quid a day.

I feel like a spiv

I do love your GPO stories, they have been a bit sparse lately.

[EternalOptimist]

If the value doubles in ten years
I would rather see it plummet then perform brill in the last six months
than perform brill then stay steady

if you see what I mean.
keeps the temptation under wraps

[pjclarke]

AER > 300%? You bought a share in Wonga?

I feel foolish now, my sample portfolio is only up 5%, plus a mere £90 odd in dividends.

Be sure to let us know when it all comes crashing down ...

[EternalOptimist]

When I was a young lad, (17 to be precise) I worked for the GPO.
One day I was just about to go to the chippy for me and the gaffer, when he pulled over and nipped into the bookies.
When he came out I asked him what it was all about and he told me he had put a fiver on a dead cert at 20-1.
So naturally I spent me weeks dinner money and bus fare home, because I really needed that hundred quid.
That horse is still running and for the rest of the week I starved and wore me shoes out walking home. It was the best thing that could have happened!
I never ever had the urge to gamble, I became risk averse and I just wished the gaffer had taken me to the pub and got me a bad hangover because then I wouldn't be a boozer either.

that's by the by. A while back I stuck 10 k of my ISA allowance on a VERY high risk fund. The missus was furious, she made me promise never to be so stupid again and I agreed.
It was out of character, I felt slightly ashamed and all capitalistical. I felt 'dirty'
And now, disaster. The bastid money got taken out of me bank last week and the fund has been making a hundred quid a day.

I feel like a spiv