Reply to: Urgent help needed

[BrilloPad]

Can't you order some new rubber sheets?

[SimonMac]

The dev environment is completely banjaxed. I've escalated to the DBA team last Friday. Then chased daily. Not really getting much progress or urgency.
So I escalated to ClientCos manager. Again not getting much progess or urgency.
So I escalated to the CEO of the consultancy I am contracted to. Zero urgency, and zero support.

So I am working on a fixed price project that is stuck fast, with no place to go and no chance of delivering on time or even coming close.

So the urgent problem is now what to do with the rest of my week?

I am sooooooo fecking bored it's not even funny. How do you wile away the hours on dead or soon to be dead projects?

If I was you I would work on your CV, god knows you need to

[darmstadt]

Harsh.

But fair.

Said the sockie

[CorporalJones]

Said the permie.

On a contractor forum.

Harsh.

But fair.

[suityou01]

Harsh.

But fair.

Said the permie.

On a contractor forum.

[MarillionFan]

The only things you urgently need help with are the ability to deal with stuff yourself (stopping being a pointless lying twat would be a start) and more importantly how to flounce properly and stay gone for good.

Harsh.

But fair.

[TykeMerc]

The only things you urgently need help with are the ability to deal with stuff yourself (stopping being a pointless lying twat would be a start) and more importantly how to flounce properly and stay gone for good.

[d000hg]

Just whipped it out and they've lost their minds.

That's a bit unprofessional, even for foreign.

[GlenW]

Anyone got any pot noodle recipes for pulled pork?

We don't want to know about you pulling your pork!

[Dactylion]

OK I want to sack all the DBAs and get root privs on every box. Shall I start a rumour about the DBAs gangbanging ClientCo's CEO's missus?

I am on T&M. I would have thought the CEO of the consultancy would have had a bit more to say about it. Breach of contract springs to mind. But hey ho.

Trust me, I am anal about documentation. It's up to date. I am 98% of the way through a data migration, and just need the environment sorted so I can finish the 2% off. The only way this can be done is for

a) The DBAs to look into it with a bit more enthusiasm.
b) ClientCo's manager to vigorously encourage the DBA's to look into it.
c) The constancy's CEO to vigorously encourage ClientCo's manager to vigorously encourage the DBA's to look into it.
d) All of the above tos.fook off and leave me the admin passwords

Of course we have taken option e) which is do fook all. So I now have 25 hours to fill.

Does anybody see just the teensy weeny-est risk in Suity's preferred solution?

Jeeezus H!!! I wouldn't trust Suity to use a fork to eat lunch!!!!!

[suityou01]

Anyone got any pot noodle recipes for pulled pork?

[suityou01]

Teach your self something. How about patience?

Isn't that the same as solitaire? I'm blackbelt at that game! Blackbelt I tell ya!

[minestrone]

Does anyone know someone that can get a boat to Normandy?

[suityou01]

fixed price for you? Or for the Client?

If its you then advise you will be charging extra or walking off site.

If its the client may I introduce you to the internet?

There is nothing you can do on your own? Documentation etc?

I am on T&M. I would have thought the CEO of the consultancy would have had a bit more to say about it. Breach of contract springs to mind. But hey ho.

Trust me, I am anal about documentation. It's up to date. I am 98% of the way through a data migration, and just need the environment sorted so I can finish the 2% off. The only way this can be done is for

a) The DBAs to look into it with a bit more enthusiasm.
b) ClientCo's manager to vigorously encourage the DBA's to look into it.
c) The constancy's CEO to vigorously encourage ClientCo's manager to vigorously encourage the DBA's to look into it.
d) All of the above to fook off and leave me the admin passwords.

Of course we have taken option e) which is do fook all. So I now have 25 hours to fill.

[vetran]

OK I want to sack all the DBAs and get root privs on every box. Shall I start a rumour about the DBAs gangbanging ClientCo's CEO's missus?

if the DBA's are 'Gangbangers' then yo don't want to diss them.