Reply to: When your wife wants a divorce, give her everything she wants

[MaryPoppins]

Of course both sexes can be twats.

I am however very grateful not to have had to watch my son be subject to any potential lack of consistency, or to have needed any money from my ex.

Sometimes not having two parents is for the best, and hopefully he'll not feel it's done him too much harm.

[vetran]

A few points:

1) How many of the 70% divorce initiations are for adultery where the wife has put on 5 stone and lost interest in sex? Or where the wife is suffering from serious mental illness.
Or where she is just unreasonable.

2) If most men have been responsible and looked after their children finanically why was the CSA invented? I've known loads of tw*ts who try every trick under the sun not to give any money to that 'b*tch'.

You know the 'b*tches' fail to pay maintenance as well and frequently get the house?

3) Between wives I most have 'known' a good half dozen single mums (either divorced or separated) and none as far as I can recall stopped the father seeing the children if they wanted; but quite a few had to lie to their kids about why daddy hadn't turned up and quite a few had irregular maintenance payments whilst trying to keep a roof over the kids head. BTW I only met one of the women's children, the rest were 'buddies'.

Obviously you haven't met some of the harpies here.


In short there is bad people whatever gender. The wide generalisations in this thread are disappointing.

FTFY

Adultery falls behind bad behaviour as leading grounds for divorce | Money | The Guardian

She said the widely held belief was that divorces were granted because of unreasonable male behaviour, "but there has been a marked shift over the decades, with men now five times more likely than in the 70s to be granted a divorce because of the unreasonable actions of wives".

The study highlighted the 80s – the era known for yuppies – as yielding the most adulterous break-ups – with nearly one in three (29%) of all divorces granted due to cheating on a partner. In the same decade, almost one in five divorces were down to the husband's infidelity.

The UK's Largest Survey Into Infidelity | YourTango

25.4% of married men and 18.3% of married women and have cheated on their current partners at least once

so not that far apart.

[Gibbon]

A few points:

1) How many of the 70% divorce initiations are for adultery where the husband is shacked up with a mistress but wants a safety net to return to if the grass isn't greener. In my experience this happens with depressing frequency.

2) If most men have been responsible and looked after their children finanically why was the CSA invented? I've known loads of tw*ts who try every trick under the sun not to give any money to that 'b*tch'.

3) Between wives I most have 'known' a good half dozen single mums (either divorced or separated) and none as far as I can recall stopped the father seeing the children if they wanted; but quite a few had to lie to their kids about why daddy hadn't turned up and quite a few had irregular maintenance payments whilst trying to keep a roof over the kids head. BTW I only met one of the women's children, the rest were 'buddies'.

In short there is bad people whatever gender. The misogyny in this thread is disappointing.

[MicrosoftBob]

Never understand how someone can be so evil as to not let a parent see their kids. No matter what has gone on between husband and wife. Notwithstanding of course something that would put the kids in danger.

Theres a special place in hell reserved for mothers who prevent fathers seeing their kids in this way.

Must admit I dont know if I'd be able to cope if this ever happened to me.

People aren't rational, and no matter how well you think you know your partner divorce changes everything it can bring out the worst in anyone

I'm no saint, I was angry and could have had a Clarkson moment, when it's your children you can be overly emotional, thankfully I didn't do anything rash

[psychocandy]

In short first she refused, then I got the legal system involved

I'd turn up at the designated day and time and she'd be gone, I then tried to turning up unannounced only to see my children dragged away from the front door screaming they wanted to see me

When someone is more concerned with trying to hurt you than the well being of their own children, you're only going to hurt your own children by fighting them

Never understand how someone can be so evil as to not let a parent see their kids. No matter what has gone on between husband and wife. Notwithstanding of course something that would put the kids in danger.

Theres a special place in hell reserved for mothers who prevent fathers seeing their kids in this way.

Must admit I dont know if I'd be able to cope if this ever happened to me.

[GlenW]

Yeah, men have it so tough in nearly all cultures.

Agreed again! Our feet are just too big for us to get comfortably in position by the kitchen sink.

[d000hg]

Yeah, men have it so tough in nearly all cultures.

[GlenW]

It would depend. Do you want to see them for their benefit or for yours? i.e. is their mother a bad parent. I think children need two parents ideally but if the fighting gets really bad, the kids might not really want either parent any more! And can be scarred from seeing what their parents did to each other.

Although it really hurts to admit it, you do make a very good point.

I was lucky and was able to pay my wife off, she was prepared to 'sell' her children so I think I was right to want them to be with me not her. However, I do realise that other's have very different circumstances and foregoing seeing their children could possibly be in the best interests of the children.

[MicrosoftBob]

...and go and live somewhere where the law treats men as equals if it comes to a divorce.

That in itself is a big issue few places in the world have equality when it comes to divorce, they either strongly favour women or men depending on the culture

[d000hg]

So just walk away then?

It would depend. Do you want to see them for their benefit or for yours? i.e. is their mother a bad parent. I think children need two parents ideally but if the fighting gets really bad, the kids might not really want either parent any more! And can be scarred from seeing what their parents did to each other.

Try telling that to the women!

That's not on. Many men are just as bad.

[vetran]

I guess you men need to up your game then.

I do hope you are joking.

[flamel]

I guess you men need to up sticks then.

...and go and live somewhere where the law treats men as equals if it comes to a divorce.

[mudskipper]

70% of divorces are initiated by women.

I guess you men need to up your game then.

[BrilloPad]

How about:

Get married, stay married?

70% of divorces are initiated by women.

Mostly the men don't get a choice.

Women want a man's genetic material and his money. Sweeping generalization - like saying men are not in touch with their feelings. But alot of truth.

I bet the guy accused of satanic abuse was a great bloke...

[vetran]

How about:

Get married, stay married?

Some of the idiots that get married of both sexes you can see why they divorce.

Violent, Drunks, serial adulterers, gambling addicts, mentally unbalanced. met them all. I wouldn't want to stay married to them.