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Previously on "Bird bit on the bum"

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  • Sysman
    replied
    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
    Remember my sister got bitten on the shoulder once by a New Forest pony. Nasty teeth shaped bruises.
    An 'orse bit me on the shoulder once with the same result.

    'orse shoe shaped bruises.

    Aitches dropped 'cos it was a Yorkshire 'orse of course.

    Leave a comment:


  • DaveB
    replied
    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
    Remember my sister got bitten on the shoulder once by a New Forest pony. Nasty teeth shaped bruises.
    It's the little ones you have to watch out for. Viscous little buggers, and they get meaner the smaller they get.

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    This was a little one. It lived in our garden (this was in sunnier climes) and was climbing my foot. I thought 'how sweet', then it clamped onto my shin, and I was screaming with tortoise hanging from leg. My dad pulled it off (not like that!) and it took a chunk of shin with it. I still have the scar.

    Leave a comment:


  • barrydidit
    replied
    my 'beating off a tortoise' story

    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    I got bitten by a tortoise. Not on my bum though.
    I once rescued a lady who was being savaged by a tortoise. It was one of those giant tropical feckers and she'd been feeding it leaves cos it was stuck in a dusty cage with nowt to eat. They might have a reputation for being slow but this only relates to their legs - their necks are surprisingly quick. It's beak thing sliced through her nail into her finger and it wasn't for letting go, at least until it got punched on the top of the head.

    I hope it wasn't related to Zeity in some way....

    Leave a comment:


  • Scruff
    replied
    One of my fellow contractor scum got bit on the tit by a pony in the New Forest. It made for a good laugh but I'm glad I never had that bruising.

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    I got bitten by a tortoise. Not on my bum though.
    They can move very quickly when angered.

    I heard of one once that beat a rabbit in the 400m. or something like that

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    I got bitten by a tortoise. Not on my bum though.

    Leave a comment:


  • xoggoth
    replied
    Remember my sister got bitten on the shoulder once by a New Forest pony. Nasty teeth shaped bruises.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    She was involved in a sex game.

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    started a topic Bird bit on the bum

    Bird bit on the bum

    The missus heard a new excuse a few days ago.

    One of the carers could not make it into do her shift, because she got bit on the bum.
    By her horse.
    and it got infected.
    not the horse.
    the carers bum



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