- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Reply to: Ho ho ha ha
Collapse
You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
- You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
- You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
- If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.
Logging in...
Previously on "Ho ho ha ha"
Collapse
-
I string 'em along for a few minutes while I fetch a pair of ear defenders and an emergency whistle. You can guess what happens next
-
-
Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
goes to fridge. gets a tube. scratches balls. looks at calendar. looks at tube. scratches nuts again. cracks tube
turds
Leave a comment:
-
My nan had one of these. Never owned a computer in her life... utter scumbags.
For some reason I got to wondering: what if someone used one of these on them while on the phone?
New video shows Japanese speech-jamming gun in action (Wired UK)
Leave a comment:
-
I was at the Mother in Laws when she got one of these - she duly handed the phone over to me where I strung them along for 45 minutes before hurling so much abuse that they threatened to call the Police on me
The MIL was quite shocked at the outburst, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that was the polite version.
Leave a comment:
-
Got this call a few days ago. I just hung up. Then the moron called back "Why did you hang up on me?".
Yesterday we got a telemarketing call (despite being opted out), asking to speak to me. My daughter answered it...
"Is mr NAT there?"
"Why do you want to speak to him?"
"Are you his daughter? Can I speak to him please"
"That's irrelevant. Why do you want to speak to him?"
"Are you an adult"
"That's irrelevant. Why do you want to speak to him"
<click>
Number now added to blocked list. I've also configured our phone server thingy so that any number withheld calls go straight to voicemail.
Leave a comment:
-
These guys called me one day while I was benched.
I played along a bit, but I didn't have a VM handy so had to
make up responses while making tap tap noises on my linux machine.
This may have been posted before, but still amuses me.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpBKUk6t5aQLast edited by RSoles; 10 December 2014, 08:26.
Leave a comment:
-
I will send you his number. you will get on well with him, so much in commonOriginally posted by scooterscot View PostYou don't have a computer? How are you posting on here then? I think the turd knew what they were talking about.
Leave a comment:
-
You don't have a computer? How are you posting on here then? I think the turd knew what they were talking about.
Leave a comment:
-
Ho ho ha ha
Got a phone call last evening from foreign parts.
ring
ring
ring
pick up
<pause>
'Hello sir. Microsoft here. we notice from your google use that you have been downloading malicious virus. the errors are coming up here and we mus..'
EO - 'Just one second please...'
goes to fridge. gets a tube. scratches balls. looks at calendar. looks at tube. scratches nuts again. cracks tube
squeaky voice from phone - 'hello sir hello sir
puts phone down.
Tonight -
ring
ring
ring
pick up
<pause>
'Hello sir. Microsoft here. we notice from your google use that you have been downloading malicious virus. the errors are coming up here and we mus..'
EO - 'But I don't have a computer..'
<click>he hangs up
turdsTags: None
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Contractor loan demands: Is W28 playing litigation roulette? Yesterday 16:01
- Sean’s Story: He settled his contractor loans. Then they were sold for about £10. Now he’s being chased for £131,000 Oct 8 05:12
- Contractors warned as HMRC petitions to wind up ‘FCSA umbrella’ MyPay Oct 7 05:06
- As JSL squeezes small umbrella companies, Healey must act Oct 6 03:43
- Healey’s Budget 2026 to-do list for IT contractor hiring Oct 5 05:05
- Contracting Awards 2026 winners: 2025’s victors refuse to let go Oct 2 06:23
- Autumn Budget 2026: 10 predictions for UK contractors Sep 29 00:08
- Is HMRC ‘cruelly seeking to transfer debts’ to MSC contractors? Sep 28 06:37
- IT contractor demand climbed in August 2026 to 40-month high Sep 25 04:53
- Foreign Office puts 90% inside IR35 amid £15m bill: 5 steps for you Sep 24 01:11

Leave a comment: