I decided to sell my Hoover

[BlasterBates]

I once knew a flatulent sailor.

His wife wouldn't sail with him because she couldn't stand the wind.

[BlasterBates]

Heard about the giy who walked out on his job at the greengrocers?

Apparently it was a celery dispute.

[stek]

Would it be ironic or just funny if Shakin' Stevens contracted Parkinson's disease?

[EternalOptimist]

my uncle was the unluckiest man ever, a tile fell off his roof and missed his shoulder by 4 inches. it went right through his 'ead

[woohoo]

I always like to leave them wanting more, that's what my uncle says. He got fired. He worked for disaster relief.

[Spartacus]

I've just finished reading Great Expectations. To be honest, I was a little disappointed.

[scooterscot]

I've just returned from a once in lifetime holiday... Never again I tell you.

[vetran]

...well it was just collecting dust.

BBC News - Tim Vine wins funniest Edinburgh Fringe joke award

Can't beat it, IMO.

personally I think that joke sucks.

[mudskipper]

...well it was just collecting dust.

BBC News - Tim Vine wins funniest Edinburgh Fringe joke award

Can't beat it, IMO.