Reply to: Advice please re asking for a raise and dealing with a wicked witch

[nomadd]

Tip for dealing with most women - it's the small things that piss us off.

Funny thing is, I've worked on 5 or 6 projects over my career that have been managed by women. Never had a problem with any of them. Maybe that's because I'm such a Charmer..?

But "Mad Men", on the other hand, wow, worked for some real nutters; boy were there fireworks on those projects.

[Jog On]

In any of these public dressing downs has she ever been in the wrong? Can you publicy point it out at the time?

People like this cannot handle being wrong let alone having it pointed out to them in front of everyone else. I quite like printed off emails for this purpose.

[SueEllen]

Might be something in this. I've made a few errors like sending out the wrong number for a project meeting and all the stakeholders dialled into total silence. After a few minutes I figured out what had happened and we got going. But I felt like a huge numpty.

Don't have a problem working for women. The strange thing is most of the trouble I've had throughout my career has been with women. There have been a few male pains but most of the morons have been women. Can't explain that one.

She's still at it by the way. A permie on my team got publicly shown up this morning for 'failing' to do something trivial.

Totally professional at all times. That's the truth.

Tip for dealing with most women - it's the small things that piss us off.

That's why you will get nagged and yelled at more for not replacing the toilet roll when it runs out or emptying the bins, instead of the fact you haven't replaced the entire kitchen.

[Pogle]

Might be something in this. I've made a few errors like sending out the wrong number for a project meeting and all the stakeholders dialled into total silence. After a few minutes I figured out what had happened and we got going. But I felt like a huge numpty.

Don't have a problem working for women. The strange thing is most of the trouble I've had throughout my career has been with women. There have been a few male pains but most of the morons have been women. Can't explain that one.

She's still at it by the way. A permie on my team got publicly shown up this morning for 'failing' to do something trivial.

Totally professional at all times. That's the truth.

you've just answered my previous questions.....

[vegan4life]

Great. That will save you in the future from making silly posts about your height, weight, muscle and how you could "win a fight" against a group of people on an Internet forum you've never met...



Even better. As a contractor, take no sh.. If you do, you'll become a target for a lot more of it. Permies are like that: spineless.



You missed this bit in my post: It means, "Just kidding." As does this: We use these things a lot around here. See.

Could not agree more. If that's the basis for your choice of becoming a Vegan, I fully support it.



Was planning on just that. The weather seems to have a different idea.



No, I just guessed. And then rounded to the nearest five.

Sorry for being a pratt. I'm not perfect.

[vegan4life]

Ask for a raise. It´s the best way you can get back at her. Let her gnash her teeth and make a decision. If I work for a nice boss I let it ride, and work under my possible rate level. Don´t get angry or shout back, that´s a mistake, just ignore it. Shouting back never helps, but on the other hand make sure you show her you´re not bothered by what she says, never apologise. That SAS guy gave great tips for interrogaters and it applies to difficult bosses, be a "grey" man, not too submissive (don´t be nice or firendly, just remain polite and cool), not too angry, don´t just just jump to attention, everytime she shouts, perhaps carry on typing and finish your sentence, line of code, question "politely" her decisions to show a bit of mild resistance, with the objective just to get on her nerves, and wind her up. See it as a victory if by questioning something politely she gets angry, see how far you can wind her up, be sadistic. Sometimes people have little "bugbears" find them out and use them. If she wants to rewrite your code let her do it, so what. It´s her problem if it goes wrong.

....and just remember showing any form of emotion is the worst thing you can do. Be Spock.

I think you nailed it! On the surface this has broadly been my approach. Now that I have a better handle on her behaviour she's having less impact on me. I'm just trying to keep everything normal like nothing has happened.

A request for raise is imminent. The programme I am on is planning to increase headcount by 10 with a load of projects in the pipeline. Don't know if that gives me extra leverage. Getting 'promoted' would be nice - otherwise just give me the cash. Pretty sure I am doing the same work as guys who are a level above me.

Apparently she keeps a dossier on all the people in her team. She told us today we are free to ask her how she thinks we are performing - strengths and weaknesses. Not sure I want to know but probably won't be as bad as I think.

Thanks

[vegan4life]

There are 2 sides to every story and we've only got your edited view.

Are you sure she's not justified in any of her criticisms?

Do you have a problem being managed by a woman?

Are you always professional in your attitude towards her at work?

If its defiantly 100% her, then I'd suggest you leave. As others have said life is too short.

Good Luck

Might be something in this. I've made a few errors like sending out the wrong number for a project meeting and all the stakeholders dialled into total silence. After a few minutes I figured out what had happened and we got going. But I felt like a huge numpty.

Don't have a problem working for women. The strange thing is most of the trouble I've had throughout my career has been with women. There have been a few male pains but most of the morons have been women. Can't explain that one.

She's still at it by the way. A permie on my team got publicly shown up this morning for 'failing' to do something trivial.

Totally professional at all times. That's the truth.

[BlasterBates]

Ask for a raise. It´s the best way you can get back at her. Let her gnash her teeth and make a decision. If I work for a nice boss I let it ride, and work under my possible rate level. Don´t get angry or shout back, that´s a mistake, just ignore it. Shouting back never helps, but on the other hand make sure you show her you´re not bothered by what she says, never apologise. That SAS guy gave great tips for interrogaters and it applies to difficult bosses, be a "grey" man, not too submissive (don´t be nice or firendly, just remain polite and cool), not too angry, don´t just just jump to attention, everytime she shouts, perhaps carry on typing and finish your sentence, line of code, question "politely" her decisions to show a bit of mild resistance, with the objective just to get on her nerves, and wind her up. See it as a victory if by questioning something politely she gets angry, see how far you can wind her up, be sadistic. Sometimes people have little "bugbears" find them out and use them. If she wants to rewrite your code let her do it, so what. It´s her problem if it goes wrong.

....and just remember showing any form of emotion is the worst thing you can do. Be Spock.

[Pogle]

There are 2 sides to every story and we've only got your edited view.

Are you sure she's not justified in any of her criticisms?

Do you have a problem being managed by a woman?

Are you always professional in your attitude towards her at work?

If its defiantly 100% her, then I'd suggest you leave. As others have said life is too short.

Good Luck

[nomadd]

I am savvy enough to understand the tone and intention of the posts.

Great. That will save you in the future from making silly posts about your height, weight, muscle and how you could "win a fight" against a group of people on an Internet forum you've never met...

The grow a pair comments are fine. In fact there is some truth in them and I have taken them on board.

Even better. As a contractor, take no sh.. If you do, you'll become a target for a lot more of it. Permies are like that: spineless.

The clarksonesque vegan bashing nonsense is standard and tbh a bit boring.

You missed this bit in my post: It means, "Just kidding." As does this: We use these things a lot around here. See.

however I do have strong feelings about the way we treat animals.

Could not agree more. If that's the basis for your choice of becoming a Vegan, I fully support it.

have a good weekend.

Was planning on just that. The weather seems to have a different idea.

PS you actually counted the number of posters...???

No, I just guessed. And then rounded to the nearest five.

[vegan4life]

..you've decided to take it personally.

(Here's a hint: note the comic irony in most of the replies you got on this thread. Spend a little more time around here getting used to folks playing with you, rather than making a complete ass of yourself.)



Wow, from Veggie cry-baby getting picked on by a girlie at work, to Superman, all in the space of one thread. I'm impressed. All it took was 5 posters to tell you to "grow a pair."

Who knows, maybe your "cruelty free muscle" may one day help you to defeat the wicked witch!

(Here's a second hint: note the comic irony in most of the replies you got on this thread. Spend a little more time around here getting used to folks playing with you, rather than making a complete ass of yourself.)

Oh, please don't forget to give me negative feedback, as I've clearly upset you. And don't forget to give Richard Cranium some too, or he'll feel left out. With both live for -rep.

lol. looks like YOUR irony detector malfunctioned big time. I am savvy enough to understand the tone and intention of the posts.

The grow a pair comments are fine. In fact there is some truth in them and I have taken them on board.

The clarksonesque vegan bashing nonsense is standard and tbh a bit boring. however I do have strong feelings about the way we treat animals.

have a good weekend.

PS you actually counted the number of posters...???

[nomadd]

I'm not taking this comment personally but...

..you've decided to take it personally.

(Here's a hint: note the comic irony in most of the replies you got on this thread. Spend a little more time around here getting used to folks playing with you, rather than making a complete ass of yourself.)

Gave up eating animals 20 year ago. Despite that I am 6' 3" and 210lbs of cruelty free muscle...

Wow, from Veggie cry-baby getting picked on by a girlie at work, to Superman, all in the space of one thread. I'm impressed. All it took was 5 posters to tell you to "grow a pair."

Who knows, maybe your "cruelty free muscle" may one day help you to defeat the wicked witch!

(Here's a second hint: note the comic irony in most of the replies you got on this thread. Spend a little more time around here getting used to folks playing with you, rather than making a complete ass of yourself.)

Oh, please don't forget to give me negative feedback, as I've clearly upset you. And don't forget to give Richard Cranium some too, or he'll feel left out. With both live for -rep.

[wantacontract]

I'm not taking this comment personally but...

what's your problem? what's wrong with choosing not to profit from the suffering of sentient creatures. Seriously - would love to hear your thoughts.

do you think it makes me less of a man than you? Or maybe you'r comment is based on your belief that vegans must be pale and weedy? Have you got a pair big enough to check out the PETA website and take in a few charming videos?

speaking of which...

Gave up eating animals 20 year ago. Despite that I am 6' 3" and 210lbs of cruelty free muscle and unless you are a cage fighter or something - pretty confident I would kick YOUR ass and not break sweat. I leave the beating up (verbal or otherwise) of 'girlies' to people like you.

thats the spirit, now channel it!! and give the witch a good spanking...

[vegan4life]

Speaking of which...

No wonder he's getting his arse kicked by a girlie, he's a bloody Vegan! If he'd just learn to eat animals he'd grow a proper pair and deal with this bitch. I don't know, what is the world of contracting coming to these days...

What was that about tough love?

I'm not taking this comment personally but...

what's your problem? what's wrong with choosing not to profit from the suffering of sentient creatures. Seriously - would love to hear your thoughts.

do you think it makes me less of a man than you? Or maybe you'r comment is based on your belief that vegans must be pale and weedy? Have you got a pair big enough to check out the PETA website and take in a few charming videos?

speaking of which...

Gave up eating animals 20 year ago. Despite that I am 6' 3" and 210lbs of cruelty free muscle and unless you are a cage fighter or something - pretty confident I would kick YOUR ass and not break sweat. I leave the beating up (verbal or otherwise) of 'girlies' to people like you.

[eek]

borderline???????? personality disorders.

How wide is the border on MFs world. I think there are narrower continents.