Friday; Funniest / horriblest interview stories?

[SofaKingdom]

Once lost out on a job (permie, straight out of uni) because I had a lower golf handicap than the guy interviewing me.

All chicks are caddies.

Caddychicks.com - Golfers and Caddies Connect

[nomadd]

Did you get the job though?

Nope. Funny thing was, I apologised to the agent and gave some BS excuse. They said the client was still interested and would arrange another date for the interview. They never came back, though. Can't say I blamed them. No bother, I'd found something within a couple of weeks afterwards anyhow...

[Wanderer]

Accepted a telephone interview at 9:00 a.m. on a Monday morning after having taken a deliberate break from contracting for 6 months. Needless to say, I didn't wake up on time. My Mobile rings, I wake up and drag the phone under the bedsheets and answer with a gruff "What?". ...And it all went downhill from there.

Did you get the job though?

I've had a bloke get really flustered during an interview. His CV was loaded with stuff that he really didn't have a clue about and we were hard core techies with no tolerance for idiots so we proceeded to politely and systematically demolish the man point by point. By the end he was a gibbering wreck, pretty much begging for mercy and told us that "if he was us, there is no way he should be considered for the job". The interview ended with him being escorted from the building.

Tragic really the poor fella probably jumped under a train after that one, but at the time we had a fair few numbskulls on the team and we were seriously fed up with working with tulipheads.

[nomadd]

Bit casual coming under a "Professional" forum I know but might serve some business related purpose by learning from others

Accepted a telephone interview at 9:00 a.m. on a Monday morning after having taken a deliberate break from contracting for 6 months. Needless to say, I didn't wake up on time. My Mobile rings, I wake up and drag the phone under the bedsheets and answer with a gruff "What?". ...And it all went downhill from there.

[northernladuk]

This is a crap thread, please delete it.

LOL. Funniest thing that has been posted so far! could be on the up now

[ChimpMaster]

This is a crap thread, please delete it.

[norrahe]

Once lost out on a job (permie, straight out of uni) because I had a lower golf handicap than the guy interviewing me.

[thunderlizard]

One of my interviews for university.
Walked into the room, sat down, had the interview with one of the fellows. All so-so.
At the end of the interview, said thanks & goodbye, got up and turned round to leave.
Saw that where I'd come in, there was not 1 but 2 identical doors. Opened the nearest one, and it turned out to be the cupboard. It was empty except for an academic gown hanging up, and a pair of green wellington boots. I must have given the fellow a rather quizzical and accusing look as I left through the correct door, because he shouted after me "It's not my cupboard!"

[northernladuk]

"Yes", I say, "Oh good lets smoke, I've not had a fag for 3 hours", so the rest of the interview was done out on a picnic table on the grass outside with a coffee and a fag.

Did similar at last gig. Guy interviewing was the loud boistrous type but could smell the smoke on him. Threw a comment in about smoking that didn't actually indicate I was a smoker (thing is I stopped two years ago) but things a smoker would say. He picked up on this like a rat up a drain pipe and also conducted the rest of interview having general chat/having a laugh outside with a fag. Gig won.

As bad as it is smoking is something of an old boys network it has to be said. Problem was he kept asking me when he needed a fag and ended up on a 10 a day habit by the end of the gig and had to go back on Champix to stop again

[nfoote]

Erm, sorry but what is funny about this? Just a fairly standard story with some crap similies. Sorry

so cruel

[Scrag Meister]

Best interview

Went for an interview with a large news and financial information firm for a perm role in Devon, sat in the car park waiting for the interview and a mate rings me from CurrentPermCo and tells me we are all being made redundant.

Ok me thinks, at least I am ready with an interview.

Goes into interview rather more nervous than usual as now there seems to be a whole load more resting on closing this deal.

Usual grilling from 3 people, then 1 asks me if I smoke, not a question interviewer should ask, but honesty is the best policy.

"Yes", I say, "Oh good lets smoke, I've not had a fag for 3 hours", so the rest of the interview was done out on a picnic table on the grass outside with a coffee and a fag.

Being made redundant, salary turns out to be 7k less than i was currently on, not good but need the job, so took it.
Arrived for work, contract thrust at me and the manager had negotiated and got me 1k more than I was on, i.e. 8k more than initial offer, with a job only 5 mins from my house.

I worked there for 5 and a half years.

Out for drinks tonight with a few people who were at the same location in Devon, and have now moved upto London.

Happy days, lifetime friends.

[Gonzo]

Moral; better interviews and faster offers come when interviewing on little-to-no-sleep and smelling like booze.

All young permies in the City are like this on a Friday. They wouldn't have noticed.

If you'd turned up wearing the same clothes that you were wearing the day before they would probably have offered you more money.

[northernladuk]

Erm, sorry but what is funny about this? Just a fairly standard story with some crap similies. Sorry

[nfoote]

Bit casual coming under a "Professional" forum I know but might serve some business related purpose by learning from others

Funniest;
This is all in relation to a PERM job but still funny I think.
Monday morning I was offered a job from ClientCoABC which I verbally accepted via the agent. Start following Monday.

That same day I had another agent ringing me telling me about another role for ClientCoXYZ. I told him I was all sorted for a role thanks but being the push over that I am I let him talk me into a phone interview with XYZ on Tues anyways.

Had the phone chat on Tues morning and it went so well that by Tues arvo the agent was ringing to say they wanted a face interview. I again said I was all sorted so there's no point, I never go back on my word and I've already accepted the other role. BUT being the PUSH OVER that I am I let the bugger convince me to go to face interview on Friday, what else was I going to do with a week of not working & not looking for work?
THURSDAY came and some mates called up saying tonight was a big night on the lash, figuring I don't care about the interview the next day anyways, I accepted The Call.

So apparently somewhere around 3am I stumbled away from the bar and wandered off in completely the wrong direction. When my memory finally caught up with me I was walking alone in streets I couldn't recognise. No taxi would stop for me because I was clearly goneski. Eventually found a night bus to jump on, but fell asleep till the end of the line, which again I didn't recognise. Kicked off that bus I managed to find another, but fell asleep again till the end of the line. Again kicked off I realised I where I was (very far from home) and the time (5:30am). I sat down to wait for the tubes to open. By the time I got home (now Friday morning) it was 7am, did I mention the interview was at 12noon in the City? Slept till 10am, showered, dressed and into town and got to interview with 5min to spare.

Great company, great guys, after spending 2.5 hours sweating like a pedo in a playground, asking for extra large glasses of water every 10 minutes and forgetting every name I was told within 0.7seconds I was glad they hadn't let their grilling up for a single second otherwise I would have fallen asleep AGAIN right at the table.

Suffice to say as soon as I got out of there I went straight home to get some rest, but no, the agent was on the phone by 4pm saying I'd done very well (?!?!?) and they wanted to offer me the job (?!?!?!?!?!?!).
Role, pay, conditions all exactly the same as the previous role I'd already accepted, so I told him AGAIN AGAIN that I can't go back on my word.
THEN he did something that really astounded me, the AGENT said his agency would be willing to profit split with me if I took the role. If I stayed in the role for 3 months (perm role remember) the agency would GIVE me £1000 cash!!!!!!
BUT, I never go back on my word, after an hour on the phone defending my honour he finally accepted I wouldn't break my verbal acceptance of the first role and said he respected me for that and let me go (man my word costs me a lot of coin!).

Moral; better interviews and faster offers come when interviewing on little-to-no-sleep and smelling like booze.

Un-funny bit; I quit that first role 6 months later when I realised I wanted to contract, shoulda taken that second role and boosted with the extra £1000!!!!!!!