Reply to: Contract Termination and bullying

[TheFaQQer]

Hi Martin

[Waxing Lyrically]

Hi Martin

[TheFaQQer]

[Waxing Lyrically]

Anyway, back to topic. Though I would have a pop at this one….

Firstly do not go to HR, take this person on personally or moan about them personally to their manager. You are not going to gain anything and it’s highly likely you will destroy any relationship with the client. Handled properly you could bail out of this but still keep a chance the client could ask you back. Burning your bridges just to get one over on here is just stupid IMO.

The only time you should be raising this with the client if it is affecting your ability to deliver. Whoever you speak to may know the person and give you advice to deal with it or at least be sympathetic to your cause. More likely they won’t give a stuff but if you keep it to ability to deliver you don’t look like you are moaning and part of/cause of the problems. Approach it on a personal level then the easiest way to resolve the problem is to get rid of you.

Secondly, it would be worth looking back at this situation but be extremely pragmatic. There are reams of theory on how to deal with conflict in the workplace and I genuinely believe applying the right one in the right situation can help. Breakdown in relationships IMO is a two way thing and very rarely it is one person’s fault and there is genuinely no way of managing it to some extent. People that are that bad will be well known by management and I would be surprised they stay in a job long enough to cause a problem. If it’s down to a personality clash then it shouldn’t be impossible to change our personality/style whilst in the office to counter the situation. If you are a slacker work harder, if you are disorganised work harder at being organised, if you are seen to be unprofessional then just act professionally. It’s difficult and needs some guts to admit that you are part of the problem and change it whilst in the office but you’re trying to earn your crust so worth a pop surely? Sticking to your guns and blaming them isn’t going to help you is it?

If it’s that bad you can’t deal with it then you have no choice to leave, but again, this can be done the right way and the wrong way.

This could all be utter bollocks in the OP's situation and it is a genuine case of bullying but some people's bullying can be just hard nosed business to others. Peoples tolerance levels can be different.

This is spot on. I terminated a contract recently due to problems at home that required my attention so much so that it was effecting my ability to do the job. They weren't happy but after I explained that I was concerned about deliverable deadlines being missed they said they understood. They also said that there had been issues with my performance which wasn't a shock but they said that they accepted this was probably due to the problems I was having outside work and beyond my control.

However there was another factor which was the "fellow" contractor who was really incompetent but had seniority over me. This guy phoned me when things at home were bad and that was the only time he challenged me about work. However that was possibly his approach to conflict which was over the phone. He did bad mouth me but he bad mouthed everyone and to me a contractor who sets himself up with a toxic network is better left to his bleak future. Trying to decipher his formulae in spreadsheets and his dreadful presentations will be someone else's struggle.
That said, I have more important things to resolve before I get back into the game.
I have had previous experience though and my advice on bullies is to work out what the power structure is if you can and if you have an incompetent one who's in with the programme team and sitting pretty, get out. Otherwise try and work with them but I find focus on the job and peer reviews are first priority and allow them to be friendly but don't get too close to them. Bullies love to acquire your confidence because they never gain respect. You need to treat them as coldly and calculatingly as you can and if that means acting as if they're not complete numpties, that's worth conceding to get the job done.

[northernladuk]

Anyway, back to topic. Though I would have a pop at this one….

Firstly do not go to HR, take this person on personally or moan about them personally to their manager. You are not going to gain anything and it’s highly likely you will destroy any relationship with the client. Handled properly you could bail out of this but still keep a chance the client could ask you back. Burning your bridges just to get one over on here is just stupid IMO.

The only time you should be raising this with the client if it is affecting your ability to deliver. Whoever you speak to may know the person and give you advice to deal with it or at least be sympathetic to your cause. More likely they won’t give a stuff but if you keep it to ability to deliver you don’t look like you are moaning and part of/cause of the problems. Approach it on a personal level then the easiest way to resolve the problem is to get rid of you.

Secondly, it would be worth looking back at this situation but be extremely pragmatic. There are reams of theory on how to deal with conflict in the workplace and I genuinely believe applying the right one in the right situation can help. Breakdown in relationships IMO is a two way thing and very rarely it is one person’s fault and there is genuinely no way of managing it to some extent. People that are that bad will be well known by management and I would be surprised they stay in a job long enough to cause a problem. If it’s down to a personality clash then it shouldn’t be impossible to change our personality/style whilst in the office to counter the situation. If you are a slacker work harder, if you are disorganised work harder at being organised, if you are seen to be unprofessional then just act professionally. It’s difficult and needs some guts to admit that you are part of the problem and change it whilst in the office but you’re trying to earn your crust so worth a pop surely? Sticking to your guns and blaming them isn’t going to help you is it?

If it’s that bad you can’t deal with it then you have no choice to leave, but again, this can be done the right way and the wrong way.

This could all be utter bollocks in the OP's situation and it is a genuine case of bullying but some people's bullying can be just hard nosed business to others. Peoples tolerance levels can be different.

[northernladuk]

Indeed. Why pay for something you already have?

Ouch!!

[speling bee]

one of them I thought she was 90% pregnant or works as a java programmer, guess she must have been a programmer

90% pregnant and 10% not pregnant?

[d000hg]

Indeed. Why pay for something you already have?

[northernladuk]

And where can I get some?

And can I claim it as an expense?

Sod that. I want something to take me on a trip not turn me in to a ******* moron.

[dty]

What the **** are you on?

And where can I get some?

And can I claim it as an expense?

[northernladuk]

one of them I thought she was 90% pregnant or works as a java programmer, guess she must have been a programmer

What the **** are you on?

[tarbera]

To be fair

So when they said they aren't pregnant you told them to keep off the burgers and sat back in your seat?

one of them I thought she was 90% pregnant or works as a java programmer, guess she must have been a programmer

[northernladuk]

like the 2 women this year ive offered my seat to on the underground this year only to be told they were not pregnant - sniggers from fellow passageres - daggers at me

So when they said they aren't pregnant you told them to keep off the burgers and sat back in your seat?

[speling bee]

like the 2 women this year ive offered my seat to on the underground this year only to be told they were not pregnant - sniggers from fellow passageres - daggers at me

Did you know they weren't pregnant before you offered?

[tarbera]

indeed

Maybe Stella meant she always looks pregnant?

like the 2 women this year ive offered my seat to on the underground this year only to be told they were not pregnant - sniggers from fellow passageres - daggers at me