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Jewish Humour

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    Jewish Humour



    Jewish humour - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Some of it is very dark.

    But a lot of it is

    At an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.

    At a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant.

    At a Reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant.

    At a Reconstructionist wedding, the rabbi and her wife are both pregnant.


    There was a lovely set of programmes on BBC4(?) about Old Jews Telling Jokes.

    That was too.


    A man is rescued from a desert island after 20 years.

    The news media, amazed at this feat of survival, ask him to show them his home.

    "How did you survive? How did you keep sane?" they ask him, as he shows them around the small island.

    "I had my faith. My faith as a Jew kept me strong. Come."

    He leads them to a small glen, where stands an opulent temple, made entirely from palm fronds, coconut shells and woven grass.

    The news cameras take pictures of everything — even a torah made from banana leaves and written in octopus ink.

    "This took me five years to complete."

    "Amazing! And what did you do for the next fifteen years?"

    "Come with me."

    He leads them around to the far side of the island.

    There, in a shady grove, is an even more beautiful temple.

    "This one took me twelve years to complete!"

    "But sir" asks the reporter, "Why did you build two temples?"

    "This is the temple I attend. That other place? Hah! I wouldn't attend that place if you PAID me"


    Which is the joke I was looking for.
    Last edited by zeitghost; 13 June 2017, 15:03.

    #2
    This one made me laugh

    Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"
    "On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: that the Jews control all the banks, that we dominate in the arts, and that we're on the verge of taking over the entire world. You know – it makes me feel a whole lot better!"
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by vetran View Post
      This one made me laugh
      Yes I liked that one too.

      Comment


        #4
        Das ist besser zu lachen als zu weinen...

        Wehr weiss a chazer von lokschen?
        I was an IPSE Consultative Council Member, until the BoD abolished it. I am not an IPSE Member, since they have no longer have any relevance to me, as an IT Contractor. Read my lips...I recommend QDOS for ALL your Insurance requirements (Contact me for a referral code).

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