Having been sent a link by an ex-forces mate I thought this might be sutitable fodder for a Friday afternoon. Those of you who frequent ARRSE on any sort of regular basis will probably be familiar with His Royal Majesty, Emporer of the Known and Unknown Universe, Mong the Merciless.
For those who are not, Mong is the owner of that little voice in your head that persuades you to do those things that you know you really shouldn't, but do anyway, cos 'no one will ever know', 'it'll be fine' etc etc.
I read a few of the posts in the thread on ARRSE and thought "Heheheh, silly buggers, never done anything like that myself." Then I remembered this incident....
The Scene : Me and the Brother-In-Law repairing the ramp on a horse lorry.
ME : Right, you nip off and get the welding gear, I'll get the damping springs off.
BIL : Ok, back in a bit.
Me: *gets on with the job and removes the chuffing great springs that damp the weight of the ramp as it goes up and down*
Mong: You! Minion! What are you doing!
Me: Oops, didnt see you there your celestial majesty. I'm repairing the ramp on this lorry. The cross member has rusted through under the constant stream of horse piss.
Mong: Well don't just stand there, get on with it then!
Me: I am oh mighty one. I've got the springs off but I've got to wait for the BIL to get back before I get the ramp off.
Mong : Nonsense puny mortal, drop the ramp now and you can have it off the hinges and ready to weld when he gets back. Save waiting for him and you can get off for a beer as soon as you are done!
Me: Weeeeel, that ramp looks really heavy, and the springs are off now so theres no damping..
Mong: Rubbish man, it cant be that heavy, it goes up and down dead easy with the springs and they arn't that big. Throw the locking lever and walk it down on your hands. It'll be easy.
Me : Hmm, ok, that does sound reasonable oh ruler of all he surveys.
Mong : Good lad, the BIL will be well chuffed at the time saved when he gets back.
Me : Right, here goes then. Throw the lever and....
*Clunk, creak, groan*
Me : Oh **** thats heavy, tulip tulip tulip tulip tulip.....
*CRASH*
Me : Ooooooooooowwwwwww.
*one trip to A&E, a mild concussion and 12 stitches in the head later*
Me : Mong, you bastard!
Mong: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
For those who are not, Mong is the owner of that little voice in your head that persuades you to do those things that you know you really shouldn't, but do anyway, cos 'no one will ever know', 'it'll be fine' etc etc.
I read a few of the posts in the thread on ARRSE and thought "Heheheh, silly buggers, never done anything like that myself." Then I remembered this incident....
The Scene : Me and the Brother-In-Law repairing the ramp on a horse lorry.
ME : Right, you nip off and get the welding gear, I'll get the damping springs off.
BIL : Ok, back in a bit.
Me: *gets on with the job and removes the chuffing great springs that damp the weight of the ramp as it goes up and down*
Mong: You! Minion! What are you doing!
Me: Oops, didnt see you there your celestial majesty. I'm repairing the ramp on this lorry. The cross member has rusted through under the constant stream of horse piss.
Mong: Well don't just stand there, get on with it then!
Me: I am oh mighty one. I've got the springs off but I've got to wait for the BIL to get back before I get the ramp off.
Mong : Nonsense puny mortal, drop the ramp now and you can have it off the hinges and ready to weld when he gets back. Save waiting for him and you can get off for a beer as soon as you are done!
Me: Weeeeel, that ramp looks really heavy, and the springs are off now so theres no damping..
Mong: Rubbish man, it cant be that heavy, it goes up and down dead easy with the springs and they arn't that big. Throw the locking lever and walk it down on your hands. It'll be easy.
Me : Hmm, ok, that does sound reasonable oh ruler of all he surveys.
Mong : Good lad, the BIL will be well chuffed at the time saved when he gets back.
Me : Right, here goes then. Throw the lever and....
*Clunk, creak, groan*
Me : Oh **** thats heavy, tulip tulip tulip tulip tulip.....
*CRASH*
Me : Ooooooooooowwwwwww.
*one trip to A&E, a mild concussion and 12 stitches in the head later*
Me : Mong, you bastard!
Mong: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
