John leaned over the balcony. The view of the mountains and the sea was magnificant. John was feeling good over the last ten years in the city he'd saved a few hundred thousand pounds, what with the couple of hundred on his house, he was worth nearly a mill, and Sicily was a wonderful place; "hey", John spun round "Hi Rog", Rog, a mate of his, grinned, "hey I just spoke to a guy in the hotel lobby, look I know this sounds crazy, but his niece is in a spot of bother, foreigner you know, needs to get EU citizenship and they need somebody to marry her; look, we're all married but your still single", John spluttered his beer, and looked incredulous. Rog laughed, "hey there's 500 quid in this, its just a pretend marriage, its all arranged just pop down the local registry office and bingo, we can go out and get stoned".
"but but ...." John stottered, marriage he thought, but hey they were in Sicily, tomorrow they'd be off on the plane, £500, a bit of a lark, and who knows maybe she's a stunner. Before he knew it he had been dragged downstairs, and was shaking hands with an Italian guy with greased back hair, a bit slimy, but with a wide smile. He introduced himself as Giovanne. "So you're up for it are you?" he said in his sicilian accent.John grinned he'd had a few beers and it was becoming a bit of an adventure."there's a car outside" he added.
They went out the hotel, and a rather posh limousine pulled up with a chauffeur. John was abit surprised, a bit over the top he thought. Rog laughed, "bloody hell", and pushed John into the car, his other mates Bob and Paul piled in after. There was even champagne in the back. Rog filled up four glasses, and they toasted a rather bemused looking groom.
The car didn't go far and pulled up in front of an impressive looking villa. The chauffeur got out and ushered them inside. Giovanne came in smiling. "Look would you mind putting on these suits, we need to make it realistic", and handed each of them a very smart suit. They were led into one of the bedrooms, where they changed into their suits. Rog poured them all another glass of champagne, and they laughed at each other; John was a bit puzzled "a bit over the top isn't it?" Rog slapped him on the back "God this looks almost like a real wedding" he said and burst out laughing. The amazing thing was that the suits fitted perfectly.
A quarter of an hour later they were led out by Giavonne down a narrow cobbled street to the church. John started to get worried, "hey I thought we were supposed to do this in the registry office". "The registry office is next to the church, and the ceremony is just a short fomality by the priest" Giovanne replied. John looked at the group standing outside the church, his mouth dropped open "what the f***". Even his mates stopped laughing, and stared incredulously. "Johnny" cried a familiar voice, and John just stood like stone as his mother came up to him. He was numb. 2 minutes later he was surrounded by friends and family. "You kept that quiet" laughed his brother, and slapped him on the back. Jim a colleague from London came over, "Hey Johnny, thanks for the invite, marrying a Scilian girl, that's brave you know if you get divorced she gets everything" and laughed. John didn't know what to believe he was fairly drunk anyway and basically speechless, he could barely think about what was going on. Before he knew it the whole group was in the church, and he was at the altar Rog was beside him grinning "What's going on Johnny?" John tried to speak "I, I, ..." Suddenly the organ struck up, and the bride surrounded by entourage of dark suited gentlemen entered the church. "This has gone far enough" thought John. The bride walked up the aisle, she lifted her veil John stared, the face, he recognised her. It was Elena. John had met her in a bar 3 weeks ago, bragging about his bonus, his 4 roomed detached house in Ilford, the holiday he'd booked in Sicily, he'd gone to buy her a drink, but she'd disappeared. The penny dropped. The divorce laws in Sicily were draconian, if he married her now and she divorced him he'd lose everything. Good he'd seen through the shabby con, so he'll just say no and go home, have a good laugh.
The priest looked at him "..and do you John Smith take Elena Cornelione to be your lawful wedded wife" John glanced back, he saw his mother, father smiling, his brother and sister with their toddlers, and then dark suited gentlemen at the back of the church, some of them had violin cases. Were they the band to play at the reception? or....
John turned back to the priest and croaked "I do..."
"but but ...." John stottered, marriage he thought, but hey they were in Sicily, tomorrow they'd be off on the plane, £500, a bit of a lark, and who knows maybe she's a stunner. Before he knew it he had been dragged downstairs, and was shaking hands with an Italian guy with greased back hair, a bit slimy, but with a wide smile. He introduced himself as Giovanne. "So you're up for it are you?" he said in his sicilian accent.John grinned he'd had a few beers and it was becoming a bit of an adventure."there's a car outside" he added.
They went out the hotel, and a rather posh limousine pulled up with a chauffeur. John was abit surprised, a bit over the top he thought. Rog laughed, "bloody hell", and pushed John into the car, his other mates Bob and Paul piled in after. There was even champagne in the back. Rog filled up four glasses, and they toasted a rather bemused looking groom.
The car didn't go far and pulled up in front of an impressive looking villa. The chauffeur got out and ushered them inside. Giovanne came in smiling. "Look would you mind putting on these suits, we need to make it realistic", and handed each of them a very smart suit. They were led into one of the bedrooms, where they changed into their suits. Rog poured them all another glass of champagne, and they laughed at each other; John was a bit puzzled "a bit over the top isn't it?" Rog slapped him on the back "God this looks almost like a real wedding" he said and burst out laughing. The amazing thing was that the suits fitted perfectly.
A quarter of an hour later they were led out by Giavonne down a narrow cobbled street to the church. John started to get worried, "hey I thought we were supposed to do this in the registry office". "The registry office is next to the church, and the ceremony is just a short fomality by the priest" Giovanne replied. John looked at the group standing outside the church, his mouth dropped open "what the f***". Even his mates stopped laughing, and stared incredulously. "Johnny" cried a familiar voice, and John just stood like stone as his mother came up to him. He was numb. 2 minutes later he was surrounded by friends and family. "You kept that quiet" laughed his brother, and slapped him on the back. Jim a colleague from London came over, "Hey Johnny, thanks for the invite, marrying a Scilian girl, that's brave you know if you get divorced she gets everything" and laughed. John didn't know what to believe he was fairly drunk anyway and basically speechless, he could barely think about what was going on. Before he knew it the whole group was in the church, and he was at the altar Rog was beside him grinning "What's going on Johnny?" John tried to speak "I, I, ..." Suddenly the organ struck up, and the bride surrounded by entourage of dark suited gentlemen entered the church. "This has gone far enough" thought John. The bride walked up the aisle, she lifted her veil John stared, the face, he recognised her. It was Elena. John had met her in a bar 3 weeks ago, bragging about his bonus, his 4 roomed detached house in Ilford, the holiday he'd booked in Sicily, he'd gone to buy her a drink, but she'd disappeared. The penny dropped. The divorce laws in Sicily were draconian, if he married her now and she divorced him he'd lose everything. Good he'd seen through the shabby con, so he'll just say no and go home, have a good laugh.
The priest looked at him "..and do you John Smith take Elena Cornelione to be your lawful wedded wife" John glanced back, he saw his mother, father smiling, his brother and sister with their toddlers, and then dark suited gentlemen at the back of the church, some of them had violin cases. Were they the band to play at the reception? or....
John turned back to the priest and croaked "I do..."
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