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    Well, lunch was better than usual.
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

    Comment


      Two different curries, poppadom, naan bread, rice, pickles.
      "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

      Comment


        With a slice of bakewell tart and a coffee for dessert.
        "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

        Comment


          B

          baby bullets euph.See baby gravy.

          baby gravy euph. Semen; smegma. Also baby boullion.

          Baccus Marsh n. A dobber. From the spongy area halfway between Ballerat and Melbourne (qv).

          back one out v. The act of reverse parking your breakfast, usually involving much looking over the shoulder, sweating and grunting.

          bacon strips n. Female external genitalia, presumably with the word 'DANISH' printed on in blue ink; a ragman's coat (qv).

          badger loose euph. An R.A.F. issue air biscuit. "'I say, Ginger' cautioned Biggles. 'I think number two engine is on fire.' 'No, that's me,' confessed Algie. 'I've just let a badger loose.'" (from 'Biggles Folllows Through' by Capt. W.E. Johns).

          baibhe (bye-b) Gaelic n. A rough old slapper; a boot (qv).

          baking one v. The act of not going for a tulip when you really ought to.

          Ballerat Aus. n. A fully erect penis. As in "How are you gettin' on Bruce?" "Bleedin' marvellous Sheila. I'm nearly at Ballerat". See also Lake Wendouree.

          banjo n. On the pe*is, that thin ridge of skin connecting the polo neck to the bobby's helmet (qv).

          barber's pole n. Result of parting the whiskers (qv) while the painters are in.

          barf v. To vomit; puke; bowk.

          bargain bucket n. An overemployed and over-stretched fanny.

          barge-arse n. A woman of rotund posterior aspect.

          bark at the ants v. to yoff (qv). See stripey laugh.

          barker's egg n. Poodle tulip. A dog turd so old it has gone white.

          barking spider n. Ringpiece; anus; chocolate starfish (qv).

          Barnes Wallace n. The type of turd released from the bomb bay that sends a splash of water onto your undercarriage.

          barse n. The perineum; that little bit between your balls and your arse.

          beaded curtain n. A luxuriant crop of tagnuts.

          beard n. A woman married to a gay man in order to conceal his homosexuality. As in: "Do you reckon that Sophie's a beard then, or what?" See also whiff of lavender, frock.

          bear trappers hat sim. Hairy front bottom. As in "She had a fanny like a bear trapper's hat". Also Davy Crockett's hat.

          bearded clam Aus. attr. Barry Humphries Va*ina; fanny.

          beaver cleaver n. Male weapon used in axe wounds.

          Becksfart n. Brand-specific lager hangover flatulence. Has an aroma a bit like egg mayonaisse.

          bed flute n. Musical variation on the pink oboe (qv).

          beef box n. A container into which sausages are put.

          beer scooter n. Miraculous method of transport employed when leaving the pub after drinking large amounts of beer. So called due to the 'lost time' affect when returning home seemingly in no time and at incredible velocity.

          Belgian biscuit n. A vile and non specific sex act performed by the staff of a rub-a-tug shop (qv). As in 'How much? Fifty quid, eh? Does that include Belgian biscuit?"

          Belisha beacon n. Flashing orange globe on a black and white pole, named after the Transport Minister in 1934.

          bell-swagged a. To be endowed with a large bell end on a contrastingly small stem or shaft.

          bell wringing v. A harmless pastime that builds up the arm muscles, popular with monks for the last 2000 years.

          Bermuda triangle n. A mysterious area where skin boats full of semen seem to disappear.

          berry n. A sexual deviant; kinky person; one who shags animals.

          bespectacle adj. Respectable in glasses.

          biffer n. A particulary hairy minge. As in "Gaw, you've got a right old biffer on you there, Your Majesty."

          biffin n. Sweat secreted in the biffin bridge (qv) area during intercourse.

          biffin bridge n. See barse.

          biffon n. That part of the female anatomy between the bottom and the va*ina, which the man's balls biff on during intercourse.

          Big Ben 1. n. A large bell in St. Steven's Tower, London. 2. euph. An enormous erection, possibly with Robert Powell hanging off it.

          Bilge tanks n. The 'double gut' effect caused by an overly-tight belt on an overly-large belly. eg. Simon Bates.

          Billy Mill roundabout n. The climactic point of masturbation. From the A1058 Coast Road in Newcastle. e.g. "MY mum walked in just as I was coming up to the Billy Mill roundabout". See also vinegar strokes (qv).

          bishop rage n. To spank your monkey with such vigour as to appear to have flown into a rage. Very popular with popes.

          blart n. Female va*ina. Also collective n. Women; totty (qv). e.g. 'Golly gosh! This pub is heaving with blart".

          blart attack n. A strange feeling upon finding oneself surrounded by a large amount of quality totty, starting in the pills and spreading down the right arm, accompanied by a racing pulse. Also acute vangina.

          bliff mag n. Pornographic magazine; jazz mag (qv); art pamphlet.

          blind dirt snake n. A maladorous, legless lizard inhabiting Cak Canyon, which migrates south every morning. Richard the Third.

          blow mud v. To noisily expel a loose stool; crop spray (qv).

          bobby's helmet n. Bell end. From the distinctive shape of the British police constable's hat.

          boh exclmn. The noise made by a man after a particularly heavy woman has bounced up too far and sat down hard on his gut-stick, breaking it in two. Reportedly Prince Albert's last word.

          Bomb bay mix n. A single lavatorial sitting that produces a pot-pouri of stool consistency from copper bolts to a rusty water geyser and all points in between. tulipterish allsorts, variety cack.

          bosch v. To drill a hole between cubicles in a public lavatory for the purpose of spying on, or making your cock available to, your neighbour (for example, the future Bishop of Durham).

          bott v. A sex act performed by botters (qv).

          bottee n. One who is botted by a botter.

          botter (bot-ah) n. He who botts.

          Bourneville Boulevard euph. Arse; fudge tunnel. Used to denote homosexuality, as in: 'I believe he strolls down the Bourneville Boulevard".

          Bovril bullets n. Stools; excrement.

          Bowling from the Pavilion end euph. Botting (qv).

          box of assorted-creams Aus. n. A sexually promiscuous female, as in: `Watch yourself there Bruce, that one's a right Box of Assorted Creams".

          box n. 1. Vagina. As in: "Look at that lovely little box". 2. In cricket, a gentleman's protective device worn around the undercarriage (qv). As in: "Eeeeargh! I wish I'd worn a box".

          Brad rhym. slang. A dump. As is "Give me the paper, will you I'm off for a Brad Pitt."

          breast fest n. The summer months during which women sunbathe topless.

          brice v. Victorian. To engage in a sexual act in which one party is tied to a large stake known as the bricing post (qv).

          bricing post n. Stake to which someone is tied, who is to be briced.

          bridger n. See bottom log.

          brim n. The skirting around the base of one's helmet (qv).

          bring off v. To cause to have an organism.

          brown bear's nose n. A cute little round turd that hibernates at the bottom of the lavatory and refuses to move.

          brown bullet-hole euph. Bumhole; barking spider (qv).

          brown daisy n. An unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies instead of bees. A bronze eye.

          brown hatter n. One who bowls from the Pavilion end (qv) and in so doing tarnishes his bobby's helmet (qv).

          brown jewels n. The Queens winnit's; the dangleberries of state.

          brown lilo n. A buoyant Tom Tit that, left alone , will eventually make it's way out to sea.

          brown trout n. A sh1te.

          brown pipe engineer n. A plumber who comes in the tradesman's entrance.

          brown wings n. The honour bestowed on a man after he has completed a successful spell of bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).

          Bruce Lees n. Hard nips.

          bubbies n. Coy term for breasts, much beloved of writers of cod-Victorian pornography. "'Ooh, zur! What does you think of moi bubbies, then?' asked Molli the Milkmaid, as she unzipped the Squire's heaving breeches." (from 'A Roll in the Hay' by Jeffrey Archer).

          bubble poo n. See fizzy gravy.

          budgie's tongue n. Descriptive of the female erictile bit, particularly when her fanny has climbed up a little plasic ladder to ring a bell.

          buffing v. Gusset typing. The act of female masturbation.

          build a log cabin euph. To pass an enormous, solid stool. As in: 'I wouldn't go in there mate Someone's just built a log cabin"

          bulldog eating porridge euph. The vagina in the aftermath of sex. From Shakespear's Henry IV. "Lo, I see my ladies' bulldog hath been eating porridge again".

          bullshat v. Past tense of bulltulip. As in 'Me liar, he bullshat me.

          bum chain n. A rather intimate version of the Conga danced by those on the other bus (qv).

          bum cigar n. In after dinner conversation, a stool. "Well, if you'll excuse me I think I'll nip upstairs and light a bum cigar".

          bum goblin n. A gnarled, malaevolent turd that jumps out from behind you, causing a painful spell on your ringpiece.

          Bunker Buster n. 1. An exceedingly large turd that feels like, if dropped from a great height could break through 20 metres of re-enforced concrete. 2. American bomb used to root out turds.

          bunny rub n. A tit wa*k. See Bombay roll.

          bury a quaker euph. To release a payload from the bomb bay (qv).

          bury the hobbit v. To lose Bilbo Bellend in the wizard's sleeve (qv).

          bush pig n. A slightly more polite term for a swamp hog (qv).

          B.V.H. abbr. Blue Veined Hooligan. A six inch tall, one-eyed, skinhead.
          I don't know my arse from an hole in the ground

          Comment


            9195 - Liquid Measurement Mstd Channels In Open Sampling And Analysis Of Gravelbed Material
            "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

            Comment


              9196 - Liquid flow measurement in open channels -- Flow measurements under ice conditions
              "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

              Comment


                9197 - Paper, board and pulps -- Determination of water-soluble chlorides
                "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

                Comment


                  9198 - Paper, board and pulp -- Determination of water-soluble sulfates
                  "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

                  Comment


                    9199 - Aerospace -- Nuts, bihexagonal, self-locking, MJ threads, classifications: 1 100 MPa (at ambient temperature)/425 degrees C, 1 100 MPa (at ambient temperature)/650 degrees C, 1 210 MPa (at ambient temperature)/425 degrees C, 1 210 MPa (at ambient temperature)/730 degrees C, 1 550 MPa (at ambient temperature)/235 degrees C, 1 550 MPa (at ambient temperature)/425 degrees C and 1 550 MPa (at ambient temperature)/600 degrees C -- Dimensions
                    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Clownio
                      B

                      baby bullets euph.See baby gravy.

                      baby gravy euph. Semen; smegma. Also baby boullion.

                      Baccus Marsh n. A dobber. From the spongy area halfway between Ballerat and Melbourne (qv).

                      back one out v. The act of reverse parking your breakfast, usually involving much looking over the shoulder, sweating and grunting.

                      bacon strips n. Female external genitalia, presumably with the word 'DANISH' printed on in blue ink; a ragman's coat (qv).

                      badger loose euph. An R.A.F. issue air biscuit. "'I say, Ginger' cautioned Biggles. 'I think number two engine is on fire.' 'No, that's me,' confessed Algie. 'I've just let a badger loose.'" (from 'Biggles Folllows Through' by Capt. W.E. Johns).

                      baibhe (bye-b) Gaelic n. A rough old slapper; a boot (qv).

                      baking one v. The act of not going for a tulip when you really ought to.

                      Ballerat Aus. n. A fully erect penis. As in "How are you gettin' on Bruce?" "Bleedin' marvellous Sheila. I'm nearly at Ballerat". See also Lake Wendouree.

                      banjo n. On the pe*is, that thin ridge of skin connecting the polo neck to the bobby's helmet (qv).

                      barber's pole n. Result of parting the whiskers (qv) while the painters are in.

                      barf v. To vomit; puke; bowk.

                      bargain bucket n. An overemployed and over-stretched fanny.

                      barge-arse n. A woman of rotund posterior aspect.

                      bark at the ants v. to yoff (qv). See stripey laugh.

                      barker's egg n. Poodle tulip. A dog turd so old it has gone white.

                      barking spider n. Ringpiece; anus; chocolate starfish (qv).

                      Barnes Wallace n. The type of turd released from the bomb bay that sends a splash of water onto your undercarriage.

                      barse n. The perineum; that little bit between your balls and your arse.

                      beaded curtain n. A luxuriant crop of tagnuts.

                      beard n. A woman married to a gay man in order to conceal his homosexuality. As in: "Do you reckon that Sophie's a beard then, or what?" See also whiff of lavender, frock.

                      bear trappers hat sim. Hairy front bottom. As in "She had a fanny like a bear trapper's hat". Also Davy Crockett's hat.

                      bearded clam Aus. attr. Barry Humphries Va*ina; fanny.

                      beaver cleaver n. Male weapon used in axe wounds.

                      Becksfart n. Brand-specific lager hangover flatulence. Has an aroma a bit like egg mayonaisse.

                      bed flute n. Musical variation on the pink oboe (qv).

                      beef box n. A container into which sausages are put.

                      beer scooter n. Miraculous method of transport employed when leaving the pub after drinking large amounts of beer. So called due to the 'lost time' affect when returning home seemingly in no time and at incredible velocity.

                      Belgian biscuit n. A vile and non specific sex act performed by the staff of a rub-a-tug shop (qv). As in 'How much? Fifty quid, eh? Does that include Belgian biscuit?"

                      Belisha beacon n. Flashing orange globe on a black and white pole, named after the Transport Minister in 1934.

                      bell-swagged a. To be endowed with a large bell end on a contrastingly small stem or shaft.

                      bell wringing v. A harmless pastime that builds up the arm muscles, popular with monks for the last 2000 years.

                      Bermuda triangle n. A mysterious area where skin boats full of semen seem to disappear.

                      berry n. A sexual deviant; kinky person; one who shags animals.

                      bespectacle adj. Respectable in glasses.

                      biffer n. A particulary hairy minge. As in "Gaw, you've got a right old biffer on you there, Your Majesty."

                      biffin n. Sweat secreted in the biffin bridge (qv) area during intercourse.

                      biffin bridge n. See barse.

                      biffon n. That part of the female anatomy between the bottom and the va*ina, which the man's balls biff on during intercourse.

                      Big Ben 1. n. A large bell in St. Steven's Tower, London. 2. euph. An enormous erection, possibly with Robert Powell hanging off it.

                      Bilge tanks n. The 'double gut' effect caused by an overly-tight belt on an overly-large belly. eg. Simon Bates.

                      Billy Mill roundabout n. The climactic point of masturbation. From the A1058 Coast Road in Newcastle. e.g. "MY mum walked in just as I was coming up to the Billy Mill roundabout". See also vinegar strokes (qv).

                      bishop rage n. To spank your monkey with such vigour as to appear to have flown into a rage. Very popular with popes.

                      blart n. Female va*ina. Also collective n. Women; totty (qv). e.g. 'Golly gosh! This pub is heaving with blart".

                      blart attack n. A strange feeling upon finding oneself surrounded by a large amount of quality totty, starting in the pills and spreading down the right arm, accompanied by a racing pulse. Also acute vangina.

                      bliff mag n. Pornographic magazine; jazz mag (qv); art pamphlet.

                      blind dirt snake n. A maladorous, legless lizard inhabiting Cak Canyon, which migrates south every morning. Richard the Third.

                      blow mud v. To noisily expel a loose stool; crop spray (qv).

                      bobby's helmet n. Bell end. From the distinctive shape of the British police constable's hat.

                      boh exclmn. The noise made by a man after a particularly heavy woman has bounced up too far and sat down hard on his gut-stick, breaking it in two. Reportedly Prince Albert's last word.

                      Bomb bay mix n. A single lavatorial sitting that produces a pot-pouri of stool consistency from copper bolts to a rusty water geyser and all points in between. tulipterish allsorts, variety cack.

                      bosch v. To drill a hole between cubicles in a public lavatory for the purpose of spying on, or making your cock available to, your neighbour (for example, the future Bishop of Durham).

                      bott v. A sex act performed by botters (qv).

                      bottee n. One who is botted by a botter.

                      botter (bot-ah) n. He who botts.

                      Bourneville Boulevard euph. Arse; fudge tunnel. Used to denote homosexuality, as in: 'I believe he strolls down the Bourneville Boulevard".

                      Bovril bullets n. Stools; excrement.

                      Bowling from the Pavilion end euph. Botting (qv).

                      box of assorted-creams Aus. n. A sexually promiscuous female, as in: `Watch yourself there Bruce, that one's a right Box of Assorted Creams".

                      box n. 1. Vagina. As in: "Look at that lovely little box". 2. In cricket, a gentleman's protective device worn around the undercarriage (qv). As in: "Eeeeargh! I wish I'd worn a box".

                      Brad rhym. slang. A dump. As is "Give me the paper, will you I'm off for a Brad Pitt."

                      breast fest n. The summer months during which women sunbathe topless.

                      brice v. Victorian. To engage in a sexual act in which one party is tied to a large stake known as the bricing post (qv).

                      bricing post n. Stake to which someone is tied, who is to be briced.

                      bridger n. See bottom log.

                      brim n. The skirting around the base of one's helmet (qv).

                      bring off v. To cause to have an organism.

                      brown bear's nose n. A cute little round turd that hibernates at the bottom of the lavatory and refuses to move.

                      brown bullet-hole euph. Bumhole; barking spider (qv).

                      brown daisy n. An unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies instead of bees. A bronze eye.

                      brown hatter n. One who bowls from the Pavilion end (qv) and in so doing tarnishes his bobby's helmet (qv).

                      brown jewels n. The Queens winnit's; the dangleberries of state.

                      brown lilo n. A buoyant Tom Tit that, left alone , will eventually make it's way out to sea.

                      brown trout n. A sh1te.

                      brown pipe engineer n. A plumber who comes in the tradesman's entrance.

                      brown wings n. The honour bestowed on a man after he has completed a successful spell of bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).

                      Bruce Lees n. Hard nips.

                      bubbies n. Coy term for breasts, much beloved of writers of cod-Victorian pornography. "'Ooh, zur! What does you think of moi bubbies, then?' asked Molli the Milkmaid, as she unzipped the Squire's heaving breeches." (from 'A Roll in the Hay' by Jeffrey Archer).

                      bubble poo n. See fizzy gravy.

                      budgie's tongue n. Descriptive of the female erictile bit, particularly when her fanny has climbed up a little plasic ladder to ring a bell.

                      buffing v. Gusset typing. The act of female masturbation.

                      build a log cabin euph. To pass an enormous, solid stool. As in: 'I wouldn't go in there mate Someone's just built a log cabin"

                      bulldog eating porridge euph. The vagina in the aftermath of sex. From Shakespear's Henry IV. "Lo, I see my ladies' bulldog hath been eating porridge again".

                      bullshat v. Past tense of bulltulip. As in 'Me liar, he bullshat me.

                      bum chain n. A rather intimate version of the Conga danced by those on the other bus (qv).

                      bum cigar n. In after dinner conversation, a stool. "Well, if you'll excuse me I think I'll nip upstairs and light a bum cigar".

                      bum goblin n. A gnarled, malaevolent turd that jumps out from behind you, causing a painful spell on your ringpiece.

                      Bunker Buster n. 1. An exceedingly large turd that feels like, if dropped from a great height could break through 20 metres of re-enforced concrete. 2. American bomb used to root out turds.

                      bunny rub n. A tit wa*k. See Bombay roll.

                      bury a quaker euph. To release a payload from the bomb bay (qv).

                      bury the hobbit v. To lose Bilbo Bellend in the wizard's sleeve (qv).

                      bush pig n. A slightly more polite term for a swamp hog (qv).

                      B.V.H. abbr. Blue Veined Hooligan. A six inch tall, one-eyed, skinhead.
                      Some of these are truly disgusting!
                      Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion.

                      Comment

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