test please delete

[DaveB]

What, though, if Brown had an accident on the way to the palace? Would Tony Blair be asked to reconsider? Or would John Prescott step in as deputy prime minister or Harriet Harman as the new deputy leader of the Labour Party? Take your pick.

[DaveB]

Whether their departure is planned or unplanned, prime ministers always find leaving office a shock. Not only will the prime minister instantly become plain old Mr Blair, there will also be other indignities. I have another of Michael Cockerell's great TV political documentaries to thank for the following tales.

[Clownio]

A

A.D.W. abbr. All Day W**knk. A 24 hour trip to the Billy Mill Roundabout with no hand signals. Something to do when the telly breaks.

air biscuit n. Fart; botty burp. As in "Has somebody launched an air biscuit?"

air buffet n. A lingering gaseous meal, more substantial than an air biscuit, to which one may make several visits.

aeroplane blonde n. A dark haired female who dyes her hair blonde, ie. is equipped with a black box.

almond n. 1. Pe**s. From the rhyming slang, almond rock - cock. 2. An imperial measure of semen; approximately one stomach full.

American trombone n. A horny trio of two men and one woman, who plays the sp**k trumpet of one of the men, whilst the other strikes up the double bass (qv). A spit roast.

anal announcement n. Fart; botty burp; trouser trumpet.

anchovy's fanny n. the fishiest of all possible suppers.

Apache n. Sex without a condom. Riding bare back.

apple catchers n. Generously proportioned knickers.

aris n. Convoluted cockney rhyming slang for arse. From Aristotle - bottle - bottle and "glarse"- arse.

armbreaker euph. A particularly vicious w**k. "What with excellent browsing and sluicing and a couple of armbreakers and what-not, Berties's afternoon passed quite happlily." (from 'Wooster W**ks Himself Daft' by P.G. Wodehouse).

ar*e-feta n. The cheese (qv) matured in the narrow passage leading to Cadbury Alley (qv).

ar*e-grapes n. Descriptive term for haemorrhoids.

ar*e-pi** n. Diarrhoea; rusty water (qv); the sh1ts.

ar*eholed a. intoxicated; having consumed an excessive amount of alcohol.

ar*eovoir n. The little indent just above a builders arse that holds about half a pint of sweat.

ar*e spider n.A tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it.

art pamphlet n. A jazz mag; one handed reading material.

ass-jewellery n, Another phrase describing haemorrhoids. See also ar*e-grapes.

ass-pickles n, A really lumpy tulip.

assets n. Of British tabloid journalism, a girls breasts.

audition the finger puppets v. A single-act, one man show, not suitable for children.

Aunt Mary n. Va*ina.

autograph the gusset v. To allow the newly born turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants.

axe wound euph. Va*ina.

[DaveB]

Harold Macmillan had a man from the Post Office round within two hours of resigning to rip out his taxpayer funded phone

[DaveB]

Ted Heath emerged from resigning at the palace to discover that he had no car. "His" car - in fact, of course, it was the prime minister's - was collecting Harold Wilson. A plaintive call had to be made to the government car pool for a car for Mr Heath. These days ex-PMs do get cars - largely for security reasons - but it won't be the one Mr Blair's used to

[DaveB]

Margaret Thatcher called her adviser Charles - now Lord - Powell soon after resigning to ask what she should do as she had a plumbing problem. Call a plumber was his advice. Easier said than done for a leader who'd spent the past decade simply picking up the phone and asking "Switch" - that's the name for the Downing Street switchboard - to get Mr X or Mrs Y on the line. Tony Blair may have to be told today of the "new" telephone dialling codes.

[DaveB]

With apologies to Nick Robinson for shamelessly ripping off his blog for purposes I'm sure he never intended it for.

[Xenophon]

A

A.D.W. abbr. All Day W**knk. A 24 hour trip to the Billy Mill Roundabout with no hand signals. Something to do when the telly breaks.

air biscuit n. Fart; botty burp. As in "Has somebody launched an air biscuit?"

air buffet n. A lingering gaseous meal, more substantial than an air biscuit, to which one may make several visits.

aeroplane blonde n. A dark haired female who dyes her hair blonde, ie. is equipped with a black box.

almond n. 1. Pe**s. From the rhyming slang, almond rock - cock. 2. An imperial measure of semen; approximately one stomach full.

American trombone n. A horny trio of two men and one woman, who plays the sp**k trumpet of one of the men, whilst the other strikes up the double bass (qv). A spit roast.

anal announcement n. Fart; botty burp; trouser trumpet.

anchovy's fanny n. the fishiest of all possible suppers.

Apache n. Sex without a condom. Riding bare back.

apple catchers n. Generously proportioned knickers.

aris n. Convoluted cockney rhyming slang for arse. From Aristotle - bottle - bottle and "glarse"- arse.

armbreaker euph. A particularly vicious w**k. "What with excellent browsing and sluicing and a couple of armbreakers and what-not, Berties's afternoon passed quite happlily." (from 'Wooster W**ks Himself Daft' by P.G. Wodehouse).

ar*e-feta n. The cheese (qv) matured in the narrow passage leading to Cadbury Alley (qv).

ar*e-grapes n. Descriptive term for haemorrhoids.

ar*e-pi** n. Diarrhoea; rusty water (qv); the sh1ts.

ar*eholed a. intoxicated; having consumed an excessive amount of alcohol.

ar*eovoir n. The little indent just above a builders arse that holds about half a pint of sweat.

ar*e spider n.A tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it.

art pamphlet n. A jazz mag; one handed reading material.

ass-jewellery n, Another phrase describing haemorrhoids. See also ar*e-grapes.

ass-pickles n, A really lumpy tulip.

assets n. Of British tabloid journalism, a girls breasts.

audition the finger puppets v. A single-act, one man show, not suitable for children.

Aunt Mary n. Va*ina.

autograph the gusset v. To allow the newly born turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants.

axe wound euph. Va*ina.

[DaveB]

More chance of him getting blown up by some angry Palestinian / Israeli / Iraqi / <aggrieved middle eastern group of your choice>.

[DaveB]

Now there's a thought to hang onto.