test please delete

[voodooflux]

Better check the tweets...

[voodooflux]

Better check the tweets...

...done. Naff all going on there.

[voodooflux]

[BrowneIssue]

WHS

[NickFitz]

I got paid today

Oh crikey, I just realised what I said

In case any of the "Are you a contractor or a disguised employee" Police from General (you know them - the ones who are so eager to wave their knowledge-of-the-system-shaped-willies around that they might as well work for HMRC) turn up, I should point out that what I meant was "Today, I received remittance in full of the invoice submitted against my current contract at the start of the week for the contracted duties performed in the previous week."

I don't suppose I need to explain this to the denizens of TPD, but those knowitalls are like vultures, and I don't want to draw them in to muddy the drivel with sanctimonious gloating over my presumed lack of knowledge. I've been on Slashdot since it started, and I think we can do without that kind of thing here

[NickFitz]

In other news, the major junction up the road has been closed for some reason. Diversions are in place to ensure that traffic keeps flowing reasonably smoothly.

Unfortunately, most drivers seem to be cretins, so rather than following the diversions, they carry on up the main road and then cut up a side street, even though they have to turn right from the side street to join the traffic that followed the diversion, and therefore need to cross all the diverted traffic coming from the other end of the diversion, half of which then tries to turn left into the side street.

Of course the left-turners can't actually get down there, as it's a residential road where street parking is the only option, and therefore single-track. So they stack up, waiting for enough of the right-turners to get out so they can travel down the road.

However, the right-turners can't get out, as many people are travelling straight on in both directions, following the diversion.

As their primary choice of side road is the one that leads to my lair - or rather, the Super Monkey Car's lair - I ended up spending five minutes letting people out against the traffic. I was legitimately trying to turn right off the substitute main road to return to my home, but there were already people who somehow thought it important to get back onto the original main road by turning left down there; and they couldn't because of the people who thought it important to get that far before being diverted (and I don't mean entertained) coming up there, and so I couldn't turn

Towards the end of it all, I had a double-decker bus stuck behind me (because some cretin had parked opposite the junction) who started honking his horn at me.

I sympathise with him... but at that point, the reason I wasn't actually turning was that I was letting a Police car get out of the side road first, by cutting across my bow as it made a turn to starboard.

I'm sure Arriva's shareholders are very nice people, but I'll still let the plod go first no matter how much Arriva's drivers honk their horns

Anyway, I finally realised what the cause of the whole problem was: satnavs.

I reckon people don't actually notice "Diversion" signs any more, because they don't actually think about which way to go any more. They just keep driving, and when they realise they can't follow the route the satnav demands, they take the first available turning. Unfortunately, the road to the side of me meets that criterion for those heading towards the city

Coming the other way,their behaviour is even more likely to be computer-generated: their satnav tells them to turn left to get back on the main road the satnav loves, so they do, even though they can't. If they used some common sense and travelled a quarter of a mile up the road, they could rejoin the main road with ease. Lots of them must be local and, if they actually thought about where they are and where they are going, would realise this.

But the little box with the shiny screen on the dashboard tells them to "turn left here"; and just as with the shiny screen at home, they do what it says.

Until all satnavs have a better understanding of current conditions, they shouldn't be allowed into the hands of the masses.

These people spend their money sending text messages to TV shows because the big screen in the living room tells them to.

Can we really expect them to think for themselves when the small screen in their motor car tells them what to do?

[BrilloPad]

*mops up another century*

#156600
voodooflux
Super poster

century

[BrilloPad]

Population
2035 Revenues
471250 € Unemployment 1 %
Transport 98 %
Crime rate 1 %
Pollution 1 %

rank=323

[BrilloPad]

We are off to Nymans

[zara_backdog]

Morning all

Just about to do DS his 2nd breakfast