test please delete

[DS23]

kids eh?

[PRC1964]

Yes, I missed all that.It sounds a bit too exciting for a normal TDP day.

[ElectricChair]

I sleep all night and I work all day

[ElectricChair]

Children Don't you just love'em

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a dead cat. She asked,
"How do you know that it was dead?"
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't move."

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out
and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake Dylan,
come in or stay out!'"

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service,
for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come
forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as
she sat
down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it
your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came
into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She
said,"Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two
plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a
bitch is
nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
"What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son
of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

[Diver]

Test please delete

[Diver]

Morning all

[Diver]

Foot and mouth desease outbreak in surrey.

[Diver]

Foot in Mouth desease on CUK forum

[Diver]

Cattle to be culled in surrey?

[Diver]

Posters to be culled in CUK