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    Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
    Chuck Norris entered the same restaurant supermodel Cindy Crawford was eating at. Instinctively, Cindy swept everything off the table, threw herself on it in a fit of lust, and begged Chuck to ravish her. After Chuck finished his beer, he obliged her. When Chuck's magnificent lead sperm cannoned into Cindy's womb it went straight to one of her ovaries and roared, "Which one of you servile wenches thinks you can handle getting split
    open by the Chuck!?" All of the eggs cowered in the corner. The same thing happened at the other ovary. "I didn't ******* think so!" shouted the lead sperm which then lead the rest of the troops back into Chuck's balls. Chuck pulled out; roundhouse kicked Cindy in the face and told her, "Don't ever waste my time again."


    Originally posted by voodooflux View Post
    They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take tulipe from anybody.


    Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
    Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants
    Bazza gets caught
    Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

    CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

    Comment


      Originally posted by Churchill View Post
      Chuck Norris was a raving felch-lord and Bruce Lee kicked his arse!
      Bazza gets caught
      Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

      CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

      Comment


        Hi All

        On the bench at last

        20 months of contracting:

        Same role
        7 extensions
        2 changes of end client
        1 baby and 1 house move

        I'm going to have a break until the sun stops shining.

        Comment


          Originally posted by voodooflux View Post
          'kin told ya!

          Now don't make me have to tell you again!

          Churchill - In "Bruce" mode!

          Comment


            Originally posted by Churchill View Post
            'kin told ya!

            Now don't make me have to tell you again!

            Churchill - In "Bruce" mode!
            I'm gutted....

            Chuck is my hero
            Bazza gets caught
            Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

            CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

            Comment


              Originally posted by Churchill View Post
              'kin told ya!

              Now don't make me have to tell you again!
              They cut the end of that clip - the bit were Chuck calls in a favour with the devil, gets resurrected and kills Bruce Lee with a single roundhouse kick to the face (despite still having a broken leg)!

              Originally posted by Churchill View Post
              Churchill - In "Bruce" mode!
              And for fooks sake put yer shirt back on...
              Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

              Comment


                Originally posted by voodooflux View Post
                And for fooks sake put yer shirt back on...
                Bazza gets caught
                Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

                CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

                Comment


                  Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
                  I'm gutted....

                  Chuck is my hero
                  You have to remember that Bruce Lee was special.

                  Somewhat unorthodox in his style and training but certainly special.

                  Comment


                    Excellent, just had an email to say that Eagle Eye is showing at the local IMAX

                    The Dark Knight was awesome at the IMAX - "normal" cinema now seems a bit bland in comparison!
                    Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Churchill View Post
                      You have to remember that Bruce Lee was special.

                      Somewhat unorthodox in his style and training but certainly special.
                      But Chuck is "special"
                      Bazza gets caught
                      Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

                      CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

                      Comment

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