Originally posted by realityhack
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
test please delete
Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
Collapse
-
Bazza gets caught
Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
CUK University Challenge Champions 2010 -
-
I've just boxed up a timer out of the old UV machine that got taken to pieces earlier this year.
I'm going to use it to, wait for it, time exposures in some other UV light boxes.
They're not nearly as posh as the one that got scrapped, but take up a great deal less space.Comment
-
Allo peeps.
I have to write the job description for my replacement. I thought I'd make a start:
Senior Blagger Required.
Senior Blagger with 7-10 years experience in hoodwinking middle management, London, to work with a lively team to ridiculous deadlines set by teflon stakeholders.
Must be able to talk convincingly at length on any given subject while suffering from bouts of acute apathy and a wandering imagination. Should be conversant with the latest Management BS vocabulary, and experienced in leading a team of Junior and Middleweight Blaggers through the thorny maze that is Office Politik.
Essential skills: Lightning-fast Alt-Tabbing; Sleeping with eyes open; Stealing all the best stationery; Appearing interested and awake during team meetings; Clock Watching; Answering questions with questions; Showing Junior staff that they'll retain knowledge better if they figure it out for themselves; Posting at length in CUK.
Advantaged candidates should be able to: Talk local IT staff into giving you full admin rights; Walk away from meetings with barely any action points; Apportion blame for almost anything to Microsoft and IBM; Sweeten relationships with the most important stakeholders in the business (The director's PA, the reception staff & IT support).
Thoughts? Anything you think I've missed out?Comment
-
Originally posted by realityhack View PostAllo peeps.
I have to write the job description for my replacement. I thought I'd make a start:
Senior Blagger Required.
Senior Blagger with 7-10 years experience in hoodwinking middle management, London, to work with a lively team to ridiculous deadlines set by teflon stakeholders.
Must be able to talk convincingly at length on any given subject while suffering from bouts of acute apathy and a wandering imagination. Should be conversant with the latest Management BS vocabulary, and experienced in leading a team of Junior and Middleweight Blaggers through the thorny maze that is Office Politik.
Essential skills: Lightning-fast Alt-Tabbing; Sleeping with eyes open; Stealing all the best stationery; Appearing interested and awake during team meetings; Clock Watching; Answering questions with questions; Showing Junior staff that they'll retain knowledge better if they figure it out for themselves; Posting at length in CUK.
Advantaged candidates should be able to: Talk local IT staff into giving you full admin rights; Walk away from meetings with barely any action points; Apportion blame for almost anything to Microsoft and IBM; Sweeten relationships with the most important stakeholders in the business (The director's PA, the reception staff & IT support).
Thoughts? Anything you think I've missed out?Comment
-
The assembled congregation will no doubt be unsurprised to learn that the afore mentioned t*w*lH**d student ain't, as yet, appeared.
Despite me arranging my hols to suit the git.
Bitter?
Moi?
Nah.
I just hope he comes in next week when I'm not here again...Comment
-
-
Originally posted by realityhack View PostAllo peeps.
I have to write the job description for my replacement. I thought I'd make a start:
Senior Blagger Required.
.................................................. ......
Thoughts? Anything you think I've missed out?
Can I apply?It's Deja-vu all over again!Comment
-
Comment
-
Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Labour’s plan to regulate umbrella companies: a closer look Yesterday 09:24
- When HMRC misses an FTT deadline but still wins another CJRS case Nov 20 09:20
- How 15% employer NICs will sting the umbrella company market Nov 19 09:16
- Contracting Awards 2024 hails 19 firms as best of the best Nov 18 09:13
- How to answer at interview, ‘What’s your greatest weakness?’ Nov 14 09:59
- Business Asset Disposal Relief changes in April 2025: Q&A Nov 13 09:37
- How debt transfer rules will hit umbrella companies in 2026 Nov 12 09:28
- IT contractor demand floundering despite Autumn Budget 2024 Nov 11 09:30
- An IR35 bill of £19m for National Resources Wales may be just the tip of its iceberg Nov 7 09:20
- Micro-entity accounts: Overview, and how to file with HMRC Nov 6 09:27
Comment