- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
test please delete
Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
Collapse
-
-
***NEWSFLASH
CONTRACTOR GOES APE - THE LATEST
Reuters - 06 August 2008
New developments in today's story about a contractor going beserk at Large Bank - reports are just coming in of hundreds of A4 photocopies of permies' squashed faces and dismembered body parts being thrown out of the windows into the street below. Screaming permies are jumping out of the upper floors as shouts of 'Lean Sigma Six this you mo'fos' are heard from the enraged contractor.
We caught up with our reporter on the scene to interview one of the terrified permies who managed to escape. Horace Jobsworthy of Swindon, wiping back tears, told us: "He's gone crazy! It all started after he was asked to prepare for a learning and development review which would lead to a permie job offer - and then he snapped. I've never seen anything so horrific. It took twelve of us to stop him feeding the managing director into one of the shredders, and then the carnage began! Oh my, I have to tell my mother about this".
Our reporter tells us the police have started a sweepstake, and some are cheering the contractor on. The Samaritans are giving on-the-spot crisis counselling to the lucky permies who managed to escape. Some eyewitness reports indicate they are having a hard time keeping a straight face.
More on this unfolding news as it happens.Comment
-
The bozzo's are at it again...
Fool A - "My cron jobs are running correctly".
Me - "That'll be cause you are referring to a file that doesn't exists, copy it from a working platform"
Fool A - "Can't you do it?"
Me - Nope, you so it I'm not a copy monkey.
15 mins later
Fool A - "Still not working"
Me - "You've only copied half the files, and you've not got executable permission on them"
Fool A - "Does that matter"
Me - "What the f' do you think, its not magic"
Fool A - "what is this value in the crontab".
Me - "when did I turn into unix support, try tying man crontab, no f' off"Comment
-
I suggested they leave the entry in the table so the task runs at 23:00.
That'll buy me some timeComment
-
Originally posted by realityhack View Post***NEWSFLASH
CONTRACTOR GOES APE - THE LATEST
Reuters - 06 August 2008
New developments in today's story about a contractor going beserk at Large Bank - reports are just coming in of hundreds of A4 photocopies of permies' squashed faces and dismembered body parts being thrown out of the windows into the street below. Screaming permies are jumping out of the upper floors as shouts of 'Lean Sigma Six this you mo'fos' are heard from the enraged contractor.
We caught up with our reporter on the scene to interview one of the terrified permies who managed to escape. Horace Jobsworthy of Swindon, wiping back tears, told us: "He's gone crazy! It all started after he was asked to prepare for a learning and development review which would lead to a permie job offer - and then he snapped. I've never seen anything so horrific. It took twelve of us to stop him feeding the managing director into one of the shredders, and then the carnage began! Oh my, I have to tell my mother about this".
Our reporter tells us the police have started a sweepstake, and some are cheering the contractor on. The Samaritans are giving on-the-spot crisis counselling to the lucky permies who managed to escape. Some eyewitness reports indicate they are having a hard time keeping a straight face.
More on this unfolding news as it happens.Originally posted by FiveTimes View PostThe bozzo's are at it again...
Fool A - "My cron jobs are running correctly".
Me - "That'll be cause you are referring to a file that doesn't exists, copy it from a working platform"
Fool A - "Can't you do it?"
Me - Nope, you so it I'm not a copy monkey.
15 mins later
Fool A - "Still not working"
Me - "You've only copied half the files, and you've not got executable permission on them"
Fool A - "Does that matter"
Me - "What the f' do you think, its not magic"
Fool A - "what is this value in the crontab".
Me - "when did I turn into unix support, try tying man crontab, no f' off"
Take it easy boys....Bazza gets caught
Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
CUK University Challenge Champions 2010Comment
-
Originally posted by cailin maith View PostBloody hell - we have some seriously stressed out geeks here
Take it easy boys....Comment
-
Bazza gets caught
Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
CUK University Challenge Champions 2010Comment
-
Originally posted by cailin maith View Postyou!!
Confusion is a natural state of beingComment
-
Originally posted by cailin maith View Postyou!!
I'm going now...
walks away slowly, turns head, no one looking, carries on walkingComment
-
Originally posted by Diver View PostBeware of Geeks baring gifs"Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Expert Accounting for Contractors: Trusted by thousands Today 14:47
- Finish the song lyric Today 12:05
- A quick read of the taxman’s Spotlight 67 may not be enough Today 09:27
- Contractor MVL Solution from SFP Yesterday 12:53
- Gary Lineker and HMRC broker IR35 settlement on the hush Yesterday 09:10
- IT contractor jobs market sinks to four-year low in November Dec 10 09:30
- Joke of the Day Dec 9 14:57
- How company directors can offset employer NIC rising to 15% Dec 9 10:30
- Contractors, seen Halifax’s 18-month fixed rate remortgage? Dec 5 09:59
- Contractors, don’t be fooled by HMRC Spotlight 67 on MSCs Dec 4 09:20
Comment