best man speech

[saptastic]

has anyone got any good best man jokes or one liners ? or point me in any direction?

Am bored of seeing the same old jokes everywhere on the web that everyone has heard before ... and its not like I volunteered for this job or can claim any of my expenses!

Cheers for any help......

[Mustang]

I got a couple of books out of the library. One gave me some useful one-liners and the other gave me some good examples as to what to incorporate in the speech.

I will see if I still have a record of what the books where.

[EternalOptimist]

has anyone got any good best man jokes or one liners ? or point me in any direction?

Am bored of seeing the same old jokes everywhere on the web that everyone has heard before ... and its not like I volunteered for this job or can claim any of my expenses!

Cheers for any help......

Let us all be upstanding, and give the bride the clap she so richly deserves

[EternalOptimist]

has anyone got any good best man jokes or one liners ? or point me in any direction?

Am bored of seeing the same old jokes everywhere on the web that everyone has heard before ... and its not like I volunteered for this job or can claim any of my expenses!

Cheers for any help......

I could see she was nervous.

She didnt even look at the groom,
She concentrated on the aisle. She concentrated on the Alter rail. She concentrated on the Hymn numbers on the board.
I even heard her repeating it
'Aisle Alter Hymn'
'Aisle Alter Hymn'
'Aisle Alter Hymn'

[TheBigD]

(Holding speech in one hand) A lot of people know that public speaking isn't somthing that comes naturally to me... In fact, this is the 5th time this afternoon I've risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

Was a very emotional ceremony, I saw a few people crying. In fact... even the wedding cake's in tiers.

[Menelaus]

When I got hitched I did three toasts in my speech:

The first was to the caterers - we'd had the devils own job getting the place sorted and had threatened to go elsewhere on more than one occasion before they eventually sorted themselves out.

The second was somewhat unusually to my bride - and I made the point at the time that I'd obviously married so far above myself that if she was stratospheric, I was subterranean.

The third (and final) was to the bridesmaids, following the predefined convention.

I finished with a joke toast - to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet.

[oracleslave]

As Henry said to each of his wives, "I shan't keep you long"...

[Cheshire Cat]

First, good luck for the best man duties. It's more than a speech though.
Can I suggest you write a speech that is personal to the bride and groom, rather than trying to cobble together a list of second-hand 70's stand up jokes to shoehorn into the speech?
If you're naturally funny, or even witty, it will be entertaining, but if not, keep it light hearted and warm. Don't be tempted by the bernard manning style "gags" about mothers-in-law, and don't imply that your mate visited a prostitute on the stag night.

I've been to dozens of weddings, and the best best-men speeches are always the ones that avoid cliches.
It'll be harder to write something original, but nobody is expecting you to be bill hicks, just to wish the couple luck, say nice things, wind the groom up a little with some gentle banter and tell everyone to have fun.

[Pondlife]

First, good luck for the best man duties. It's more than a speech though.
Can I suggest you write a speech that is personal to the bride and groom, rather than trying to cobble together a list of second-hand 70's stand up jokes to shoehorn into the speech?
If you're naturally funny, or even witty, it will be entertaining, but if not, keep it light hearted and warm. Don't be tempted by the bernard manning style "gags" about mothers-in-law, and don't imply that your mate visited a prostitute on the stag night.

I've been to dozens of weddings, and the best best-men speeches are always the ones that avoid cliches.
It'll be harder to write something original, but nobody is expecting you to be bill hicks, just to wish the couple luck, say nice things, wind the groom up a little with some gentle banter and tell everyone to have fun.

WHS

[Menelaus]

First, good luck for the best man duties. It's more than a speech though.
Can I suggest you write a speech that is personal to the bride and groom, rather than trying to cobble together a list of second-hand 70's stand up jokes to shoehorn into the speech?
If you're naturally funny, or even witty, it will be entertaining, but if not, keep it light hearted and warm. Don't be tempted by the bernard manning style "gags" about mothers-in-law, and don't imply that your mate visited a prostitute on the stag night.

I've been to dozens of weddings, and the best best-men speeches are always the ones that avoid cliches.
It'll be harder to write something original, but nobody is expecting you to be bill hicks, just to wish the couple luck, say nice things, wind the groom up a little with some gentle banter and tell everyone to have fun.

If you can do Bill Hicks without insulting too many people - crack on!