My penis!!

[David Contractor Jr]

I got out of my bed this morning and for some strange reason decided to measure my manhood. I was shocked it had grown
but about an inch since I last measured it. That was about a year ago. I was non erect on both occasions so it's consistent. Now, is it possible this could happen? I am past my pubity. I was wondering I might have found the answer to all men's dreams; it's to do with what I've been drinking - Soya bean juice or ton's of pure orange juice or just having a lot of sex (i.e for last 3 months every day. 3 times a day?)

[VurtGameCat]

mp3

my penis fights fires
it fixes flat tires
my penis has saved many lives
my penis it pees
it speaks japanese
in the indy 500 it drives


my penis plays chess
it cleans up a mess
it's an olympic athelete
oh the places it's been
it can play violin
my penis works on wall street


but this penis is a curse!
it's bad and it's getting worse
cause I'm always in the way
I can't live up to his name
this penis is a king
and many other things
it's a guru and a god
and me I'm just a fraud
me I'm just a fraud


my penis is smart
and it's good a big heart
and I've heard that it's famous in France
my penis is rich
and it's got perfect pitch
I keep it right here in my pants


with a phd
it can spell bourgeoisie
this penis deserving of praise
it's off the hook
my penis can cook
have you tried his bouillabaisse?


(chorus)


my penis is large
and it always takes charge
and the president calls for advise
my penis is strong
and it's never wrong
it's won the nobel prize twice


this penis of mine
turns pee into wine
it ends all suffering and strife
it's got no foreskin
but it died for your sins
and then it came back to life


(chorus)


this penis is not mine
it's all of space and time
it's everything that's good
it's not well understood

this penis is the world
it's every boy and girl
it's more than what it seems
it's all your hopes and dreams


bow down before my penis!
bow down before my penis!
bow down before my penis!
my penis is your god!
bow down before my penis!
my penis is your god!
my penis
have you seen us?
me and my penis

[roger rabbit]

It's probably simple ruptured tissue from over-enthusiastic hand-shandys David. Bit like a black eye, except self-inflicted in your case.

Try masturbating to pictures of Dale Winton instead of Brad Pitt and dose your palm with baby oil.

[David Contractor Jr]

You've got to hand it to him. Here speaks a guy with experience, a true veteran. Thanks boss.

[shaunbhoy]

DCJ,
would this be the one between your legs or the one that protrudes from your forehead?

[Mordac]

You'll find those callouses on your hands will disappear over time.
You may not have gone blind, but you do seem to have the most extraordinarily over-active imagination. Let that be a lesson to the other children, you don't want to end up like DCJ, 15, spotty and deranged, do you now...?

[adam5]

Is DCJ the latest in CUK's line of annoying manufactured members designed to wind everyone up? First was Milan, and once the "Oh dears" got boring AtW was produced, and now DCJ is the latest high performance TOTAL ARSEHOLE!

[roger rabbit]

I don't think David Contracting Joiner is a bot as some seem to think. I think he is a worm.

An arse worm who lives in the arse of his creator but is programmed to come out and post drivel here whenever the keywords house price or interest rates appear.

[Mordac]

programmed to come out and post drivel here whenever the keywords house price or interest rates appear.

Have you noticed though, how the interest rate suddenly plummets...?

[AtW]

> once the "Oh dears" got boring AtW was produced

I object - I tried my best to make sure "oh Dear" brand lives