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WIMPEY HOLMES

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    WIMPEY HOLMES

    WIMPEY HOLMES
    ---------------------------

    The Sherlock Holmes novels of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
    are an important part of our literature. For many
    readers they evoke the very essence of late 19th
    century Englishness. But a recently discovered
    fragment, if authentic, reveals that the book could
    have been vastly different and that Holmes could have
    been a stand up comedy act. The fragment is reputed
    to come from the uncompleted first novel in the
    series 'Wimpey Holmes', a book that developed the
    effeminate side of the great detective.
    ---------------

    Brooding silently Holmes lit his pipe. He drew deeply on the smoke. 'Eeh
    Ducky', he sighed, 'This Afghany blow fair does me brains in'.
    'Confound it Holmes', growled Watson, 'Will you help with this crossword'
    'Well shut that door first', Holmes replied, 'Or I'll catch me death in
    this draft'.
    'Thirteen down', continued Watson as he closed the door, 'From which
    comes the lemon?'
    'A lemon tree my dear Watson.'
    'Holmes, you're a genius', said Watson, 'Can you help with two across,
    it says canal from aesophagus to stomach?'
    'Alimentary my dear Watson.'
    'By jove Holmes, you've cracked that one too.' Watson was clearly
    impressed. 'One more,' he ventured. 'The ex-wife receives, seven letters'
    'Alimony my dear Watson.'
    'Holmes I could kiss you', exclaimed a delighted Watson.
    'Oh, all right then, but not rough mind', said Holmes pursing his lips,
    'I only had these split ends done this morning.'

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