• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Whooops!!

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Whooops!!

    A woman is getting out of the bath wet and naked and slips on the floor, does the splits and ends up stuck to the floor by her f*nny.
    Her husband tries to lift her up but to no avail. In desperation he calls for his mate but even with both of them straining away she won't budge. In the end his mate says "I'll go and get a hammer, we'll have to break a few tiles to release her".
    The husband says "Okay, but whilst you are gone I am going to kiss her neck, ears, and play with her t*ts".
    The mate says "Why?"
    The husband replies "Because if I can get her wet enough I can slide her into the kitchen. The floor tiles are much cheaper in there!"
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

    #2
    ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

    Comment

    Working...
    X