Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

"I don't believe in God and all that rubbish. I'm a realistic girl and I need evidence before I believe in crap like that...

I'm a typical virgo".

[vetran]

I first met my wife when she came into the welding workshop that I worked in.


There were sparks between us

[vetran]

I just fell over in the library. It was in the non friction section

[vetran]

A Belgian farmer has accidentally moved part of the French border!


France are tulipting themselves and say they dont want any trouble

[vetran]

Wise old Chinese man say man who walk through doorway sideways with erection always going to Bangkok

[vetran]

A man in his 60s has been hit by a car on a main road in Hyde.

What sort of a idiot goes bird watching in the middle of the road?

[vetran]

Paddy said "Vaseline plays a very important role in my sexual relationship with my wife."
Mick said " That's interesting Paddy but I thought you had a little dick."
Paddy replied " I have, but I smear the vaseline on the bedroom door handle so the misses can't get out!"

[vetran]

I was showing my mate my new golf ball.
"It's impossible to lose," I said. "If you hit it into the rough it sends out a GPS signal so you can track it down."
"That's great," he replied, "but what happens if you it hit into the water?"
"Simple. The ball floats to the surface and tracks its way back toward you and you just scoop it back out."
"Brilliant!" he said, "Where did you get it?"
"I found it."

[vetran]

I went to visit my wife in hospital and took her flowers.

My girlfriend will love them.

[vetran]

A Polish man walks into Specsavers for an eye test. The optician shows him the test card, and on it says:

"C Z W J X N Y S A C Z"
The optician then asks him "Can you read that?"

The Polish man says "Read it? I know the chap"!