What did Speedy Gonzalez say whilst fitting his carpet?
"Underlay Underlay Underlay!"
"Underlay Underlay Underlay!"
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Experience what 10 years of marriage feels like by telling a deaf person about your day as they scroll through facebook on their phone.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Wayne Rooney goes into an antiques shop & says, "Good morning, I'd like to buy a clock. That looks nice, how much is that?"
The chap says, "Ah you want my finest grandmother? £250".
Wayne replies, "Yes I'll have her as well. But how much is the clock?"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I’m not sure the right response to Sarah Everard’s murder is to have more plain clothed police roaming around.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Missing your teenage son now he's flown flown the coup?
Get a cat, that too will ignore you, smash things and bring birds home in various states at all times of the day and night.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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So it turns out that pre-lockdown my missus used to pay a guy to touch her up...
...now I find out she has black roots!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I was talking to the wife all about permanent mechanical fasteners. She was rivetedAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I first met my wife at a fancy dress party where I was dressed up as a ghost.
I decided to woo her.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What do you get if you cross a fashion designer and an IED?
Georgio One-armeyAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Uber says fares will not rise as it provides minimum wage to its drivers.
It doesn't affect me anyway, I get around on a flying pig.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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