Originally posted by ladymuck
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Please put more jokes here
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Dear Capt. Tom,
Our records indicate you have earned £37 million in the last tax year.
Please pay your tax bill of £18.5 million plus £100 charge for failing to complete your tax return by the 31st January deadline.
Kind Regards,
HMRCAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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We've just found out our daughter's on the Spectrum.
She'll need luck with that.
It hasn't worked properly since 1983.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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"Push! Push!" I screamed at my pregnant wife today.
But her efforts still couldn't get my car to start, the lazy cow.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I'm busy following a recipe and it says "chill in the fridge for an hour."
I've got a book, some snacks and a pint but it's very cramped in here.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The Mrs has just left me, saying she can no longer put up with my gullibility and financial irresponsibility...
Well screw Her! Wait until she learns that I’ve just won the Nigerian Lottery!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My bathroom light just went out.
I wonder where it's going.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I never asked to be born.
Then again I did beat all the other sperm to the egg.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I told my wife I was obsessed with Britney Spears. She got so angry and she hit me.
I never flinched and told her to do it again.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My bathroom light just went out.
I wonder where it's going.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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