I hate people who bang on about their phobias.
I have terrible fear of heights, but you won't find me shouting about it from the rooftops.
I have terrible fear of heights, but you won't find me shouting about it from the rooftops.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I was checking out a good looking bird at Asda when the wife caught me.
That’s it. No turkey dinner for us tonight.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Is it possible for an evil spirit to be dyslexic?
Asking for a fiend.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Life is like a box of chocolates
Not as fun with diabetesAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My Grandma is 96 years old and still doesn't need glasses.
She drinks straight from the bottleAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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“I’m a chien smoker” I said.
“Don’t you mean chain smoker?” my mate replied.
“Nope” I said, lighting up a French Bulldog.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I hate being married to a cockney.
Every time I write apples and pears on the shopping list, she comes home with a staircase.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Douglas Adams once famously wrote that the answer to life, the universe and everything is '42'.
Well, he got that wrong.
I'm 43 now, and I still know ****-all about anything.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I tried to come up with a joke about tulip furniture but I've got no Ikea.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn
He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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