Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Breaking News: Texas residents warned of tap water tainted with brain-eating microbe


"We only found this in a routine test of the water samples. Unfortunately there are absolutely no detectable symptoms in the American public."

[vetran]

What do you call a basement full of feminists?


A whine cellar.

[vetran]

I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall..
I thought that’s a little condescending ..!!

[vetran]

A priest walks into a pub and orders a pint of Guinness.
"There you go," says the barman." but I warn you we don't tolerate any religious conversation in this pub."
"Far be it from me," replies the priest. "In fact, I bet you a drink that you mention religion before I do."
"You're on," says the barman.
So the priest sips at his pint, plays a couple of records on the juke box, goes to the loo, comes back and flops his cock out on the bar.
"Jesus Christ!" says the barman.
"Thank you," says the priest. "I'll have a large scotch."

[vetran]

I just ate an entire philosophy book.


Now I feel really thoughtful.

[vetran]

Gravestones are a thing of the passed.

[vetran]

I was at the restaurant and a beautiful woman came to me.
I look at her and she look at me and then she ask me if I'm alone and I said yes.

She smiled and I smiled back at her and then she took one chair out from my table.

[vetran]

I'm opening a new tool and sweet shop on an Irish building site.


It'll be called, Pick 'n' Micks.

[vetran]

Yesterday I told a joke so dark an American cop shot it dead

[vetran]

For some reason, women get really annoyed when a man watches pornography on their phone.


It’s why I no longer work at the Apple store.