> Top 8 Idiots of 2001
>
> Idiot # 1
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
> caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
> ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
> the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened
> to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
> kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
> Emergency room right away.
>
> Here's your sign lady. Wear it with pride.
>
> Idiot # 2
>
> Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
> out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
> Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
> that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
> activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
> Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run.
>
> Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco:
>
> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
> and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
> standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
> worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
> before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
> crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
>
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
> the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his
> stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
> that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
> back to Bank of America.
>
> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a
> few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>
> Idiot # 4
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
> his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
> mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
> the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received
> a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
> handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
>
> Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking
> about)!
>
> Idiot # 5
>
> Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the
> cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
> robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
> shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
> refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
>
> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
> because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's
> license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
>
> The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
> he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
> loot.
>
> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
> the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
> later.
>
> (Remind me to have more signs printed up. Give this guy his!)
>
> Idiot # 6
>
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
> the startled first bandit shot him.
>
> (This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.)
>
> Idiot # 7
>
> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
> at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
> the head, knocking him unconscious.
>
> Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
> caught on videotape.
>
> (Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign!)
>
> Idiot # 8
>
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
> a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and
> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
> the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
> the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
>
> The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> Please note that these people are allowed to vote!
>
>
> Idiot # 1
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
> caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
> ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
> the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened
> to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
> kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
> Emergency room right away.
>
> Here's your sign lady. Wear it with pride.
>
> Idiot # 2
>
> Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
> out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
> Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
> that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
> activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
> Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run.
>
> Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco:
>
> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
> and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
> standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
> worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
> before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
> crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
>
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
> the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his
> stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
> that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
> back to Bank of America.
>
> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a
> few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>
> Idiot # 4
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
> his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
> mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
> the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received
> a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
> handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
>
> Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking
> about)!
>
> Idiot # 5
>
> Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the
> cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
> robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
> shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
> refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
>
> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
> because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's
> license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
>
> The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
> he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
> loot.
>
> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
> the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
> later.
>
> (Remind me to have more signs printed up. Give this guy his!)
>
> Idiot # 6
>
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
> the startled first bandit shot him.
>
> (This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.)
>
> Idiot # 7
>
> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
> at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
> the head, knocking him unconscious.
>
> Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
> caught on videotape.
>
> (Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign!)
>
> Idiot # 8
>
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
> a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and
> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
> the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
> the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
>
> The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> Please note that these people are allowed to vote!
>
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