Say what you like about my Dad but he *always* put food on the table.
Not sure why, the gravy used to go absolutely everywhere.
Not sure why, the gravy used to go absolutely everywhere.
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“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain” -
My grandfather was the mathematician in Scott's Antarctic mission. Horrible man, apparently. Very cold and calculating.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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one for our remoaners
When I was in Uni I used to hang a sock on my door knob so that my room mate wouldn't come in because he knew I was f**king the other sock.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Paddy gets life in prison for something he didn't do and blames the judge for not believing him. Then on appeal another judge finds him guilty aswell, Paddy is furious. Mick is feeling bad for his friend and wants to help.
So Mick says to Paddy "I can't get you out Paddy, but what I'll do for you is shoot one of the judges, they are the ****** reason you're in jail".
Mick says "Ok Paddy, what judge do you want me to shoot?"
Paddy replies "Shoot that bastard Simon Cowell!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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US soldiers are flying to Afghanistan.
Lieutenant:"For every pair of enemy's ears I will pay you $100. For every bearded head I will pay you $200."
The plane has landed and the soldiers head out. Few minutes later they come back with bags full of chopped of ears and bearded heads.
Lieutenant: "Are you guys ******* crazy? What the **** did you guys do? We just landed in Luton to refuel the plane!!!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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So, in the near future we're going to have cars with no gears, one pedal and can self drive.
Despite all this, I bet Audi drivers still don't indicate.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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one for our doggie lovers
I've got a Crystal Meth Lab.
He's a ******* nightmare to walk.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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All the single ladies!
I've finally decided on the enscription for my tombstone:
"If you're reading this, please pop over to my place and feed my cat."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For PC
The woman at the job centre said, "You're always late, you ignore the queue and you are really rude."
I said, "What's your point?"
She said, "Have you thought of becoming a bus driver?"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Will you miss me?’ is a good way to bid farewell to a firing squad
forwardAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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