Years ago I used to supply filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.
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Please put more jokes here
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Hopefully I’ve got a book coming out soon. Shouldn’t have eaten it, really.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants. He was called Wedgie Kray.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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My next-door neighbour worships Italian exhaust pipes; turns out he's a Catholic converter.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a checked tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the bloody salt.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: "Oi - get out. We don't want your type in here."The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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I saw a couple snuggled up on a park bench wrapped in a bar code. I presumed that they were an item.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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The inventor of inappropriate innuendos has died.
The family are taking it really hard!“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
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