It's ironic that the people who go on about fat acceptance demand you don't call them fat.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
one for d000hg.
I walked into the library and asked if they had a book on short dicks.The librarian said "I don't think it's in yet" I said "yes that's the one"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
When I heard there was a cure for dyslexia that was music to my arseAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I've just had my mood ring stolen. I'm not sure how I feel about that.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
-
Comment
-
I went into the library and asked to borrow a book on suicide techniques.
The librarian said, "no chance, you won't bring it back!"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
-
I drew my lightning bolt too small on my face and now all the bullies in this David Bowie club are calling me Harry Potter.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Just popping out to LIDL, or 50-1-500-50 as the Romans called it.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
-
Originally posted by vetran View PostI went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises...
The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."
I said, "Yes, that's the one."Originally posted by vetran View PostI walked into the library and asked if they had a book on short dicks.The librarian said "I don't think it's in yet" I said "yes that's the one"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. But Gandhi never had to deal with HMRCComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- How to answer at interview, ‘What’s your greatest weakness?’ Nov 14 09:59
- Business Asset Disposal Relief changes in April 2025: Q&A Nov 13 09:37
- How debt transfer rules will hit umbrella companies in 2026 Nov 12 09:28
- IT contractor demand floundering despite Autumn Budget 2024 Nov 11 09:30
- An IR35 bill of £19m for National Resources Wales may be just the tip of its iceberg Nov 7 09:20
- Micro-entity accounts: Overview, and how to file with HMRC Nov 6 09:27
- Will HMRC’s 9% interest rate bully you into submission? Nov 5 09:10
- Business Account with ANNA Money Nov 1 15:51
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 14:11
- How Autumn Budget 2024 affects homes, property and mortgages Oct 31 09:23
Comment