Please put more jokes here

[shaunbhoy]

ME : I have an eye irritation, what do you recommend. ?
CHEMIST : Saline solution.
ME : "line solution", nope still sore.

[LondonManc]

I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.

[original PM]

They've opened a new nightclub in town called G-Spot. Problem is none of the young lads can find it.

And all the old men know but don't care!

[LondonManc]

My friend's name is Fin. It's really funny watching him send emails without looking like a pretentious winker.

[LondonManc]

I used to live next to a farm and every time I passed the cows in the field I used to inexplicably shout abuse at them. I thought I was developing Tourette's but it turned out that I’m dairy intolerant.

[LondonManc]

My wife told me that sex is better on holiday. That's got to be the worst postcard I've ever received.

[LondonManc]

If I'm ever feeling down I just type: "Yo are the best" into Google. Then it responds: "I think you mean: 'You are the best'" and I feel much better.

[LondonManc]

A bloke came up to me in the pub and growled "I'm going to attack you with the neck of a guitar." I said, "Is that a fret?"

[LondonManc]

I had a neck brace fitted a couple of years ago and since then I've never looked back.

[LondonManc]

Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese? The hallouminati.